IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skills
In the modern era, the rapid advancement of
technology
 has led to a rising concern that the extensive use of computers and mobile phones in communication has a detrimental impact on young
people
's reading and writing
skills
.
While
 some
people
 argue that
technology
 has revolutionized the way we communicate, I firmly believe that the over-reliance on digital
devices
 has indeed contributed to a decline in the literacy
skills
 of the younger
generation
. The proliferation of digital media has led to a significant shift in the way
people
 consume information.
Instead
 of reading written content, many individuals prefer to listen to news and information through audio platforms
such
 as YouTube and podcasts.
According to
 a recent report, 90% of
people
 worldwide use online platforms to access news, which suggests that the habit of reading has declined.
This
 trend can have serious implications for the development of reading
skills
 in the younger
generation
, as they are more likely to rely on auditory sources of information.
Furthermore
, the excessive use of digital
devices
 has
also
 impaired the writing
skills
 of individuals. The autocorrect feature on mobile phones,
for instance
, has made
people
 reliant on
technology
 to correct grammatical errors, thereby limiting their ability to learn from mistakes. A recent study comparing the writing
skills
 of old and new generations vividly illustrates
this
 point. The results showed that the older
generation
, who had less exposure to digital
devices
, performed better in a writing competition compared to the younger
generation
, who struggled to write coherent sentences. In conclusion,
while
technology
 has undoubtedly brought numerous benefits, it
also
 has its drawbacks. The over-reliance on digital
devices
 can lead to a decline in essential
skills
such
 as reading and writing, and may even affect critical thinking abilities. It is essential to strike a balance between
technology
 and traditional means of communication to ensure that the younger
generation
 develops essential
skills
 for their future success.
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is very well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion that tie together seamlessly. Try to further elaborate or add more detailed examples to support your points for an even stronger argument.
task achievement
Your response effectively addresses all parts of the task. To enhance further, consider providing more specific and varied examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Excellent Introduction and Conclusion: Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which help tie your arguments together effectively.
task achievement
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas: Your ideas are presented clearly, making your argument easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: