IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school, while others think it is better to begin at secondary school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children
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 today are often encouraged to learn foreign languages, but there is debate on the best age
to begin
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this
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 process. Some people argue that primary
school
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 is the ideal stage to learn ,
while
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 others believe that secondary
school
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 is more suitable. Both perspectives have valid points and will be discussed before presenting my own view. Those who support early language learning claim that young
children
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 can absorb new sounds and vocabulary more easily. At a young age, their brain
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 still developing, making it easier for them to achieve native-like pronunciation.
Moreover
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, starting early allows
children
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 to build confidence and become familiar with different cultures from a young age.
For example
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, many European countries introduce English in primary schools, and students often grow up fluent by adulthood.
On the other hand
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, some people feel that teaching foreign languages in primary
school
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 may place unnecessary pressure on young students. At
this
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 stage,
children
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 are still trying to understand basic subjects like reading, writing,
or
Correct word choice
and
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 mathematics. Adding an additional language could create confusion.
Also
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, secondary
school
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 students are more mature and capable of understanding grammar rules and language structures, which makes learning more effective. In my opinion, foreign languages should be taught in primary
school
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 because early exposure builds a strong foundation.
However
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, schools must ensure the learning is enjoyable rather than stressful. With fun and interactive methods,
children
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 can develop
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 without feeling pressure.
Therefore
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,
while
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 both views are reasonable, starting early appears to be more beneficial in the long run.

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improvement
The essay answers the task well by giving both sides and a view. To raise this score, add stronger links between ideas and give more solid proof or real life examples.
improvement
Use topic sentences in each paragraph to show the main idea clearly. This helps the reader see the plan and follow your thought.
improvement
Try to give more details for each point. For example, name a specific country or a study result if you can.
improvement
Check the end: make a short clear conclusion that repeats your view.
strength
Clear stance and good balance of view and opinion.
strength
Logical order with an intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
strength
Good use of linking words like 'On the other hand' and 'For example'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Brain plasticity
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalized world
  • Proficiency
  • Educational opportunities
  • Motivation
  • Resource constraints
  • Specialized teachers
  • Academic pressure
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum balance
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