IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

English
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 is a gateway to the world
and
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, and
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 no one should be deprived of the opportunities that arise for those with a strong command of the
English
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 language.
This
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 does not mean that local
languages
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 are dispensable,
however
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. They have an important role to play in supporting education, including
English
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 language education.
People
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 who insist on prioritising local
languages
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 are often those who can speak fluent
English
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 themselves. Advocates of minority
languages
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 need to be fluent in
English
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 in order to research their field and support the cause at international conferences. In doing so,
however
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, they are
also
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 demonstrating why
English
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 is so important. Learning
English
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 allows
people
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 to gain knowledge, communicate with society,
further
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 themselves as individuals and have a global impact. It is unfair to willingly dispossess
people
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 of
this
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 ability in order to preserve tradition. But
this
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 does not mean local
languages
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 can be forgotten or downplayed.
People
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 are more likely to succeed – not just at learning
English
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, but in employment and education generally – if they are immersed in a community rich in history and tradition. Local dialects are a part of
this
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 tradition. Efforts to regenerate and celebrate indigenous cultures in recent decades have demonstrated that the preservation of local
languages
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 and the teaching of
English
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 are mutually-reinforcing developments. In
this
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 way, the local language serves as the bedrock for learning
English
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, rather than being an obstacle in need of removal. I think it is important for everyone to learn
English
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but
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, but
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 I feel it is unnecessary to frame learning
English
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 and keeping local
languages
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 alive as conflicting possibilities. Each goal supports the other. We should focus on how best to develop both
English
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 and local
languages
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in
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, in
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 particular local contexts.

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strength
Your view is clear: English helps many people, and local languages can stay with it. This shows good task focus.
improvement
Add more real examples or facts to back a point. This will make your case stronger.
improvement
Some long sentences can be hard to read. Shorten them or split into two lines.
improvement
End with a short conclusion that repeats the main idea and what you want the reader to take away.
strength
The essay shows a clear view that both English and local language can work together.
strength
It keeps a good flow and links ideas well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • economic opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • endangered
  • linguistic heritage
  • inclusive
  • multilingualism
  • language revitalization
  • language policy
  • language preservation
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