IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivating of committing it should always be taken account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate regarding the types of
punishment
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each
crime
Use synonyms
. As
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some dissenting voices claim that for each type of
crime
Use synonyms
 there should be
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
show examples
law
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that
punishment
Use synonyms
 should be given based on evidence and
motive
Correct article usage
the motive
show examples
 behind the
crime
Use synonyms
. I, for one,
supports
Correct subject-verb agreement
support
show examples
 the
later
Use the right word
latter
show examples
 view since it gives proper
justices
Fix the agreement mistake
justice
show examples
 to the victim and creates fairness in the
law
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will
discusses
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
 both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 before giving my opinion. In the former view, it is argued that instilling the fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
 can inculcate fear among the
wrong doer
Use the right word
wrongdoer
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 will think twice will
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 even a small
crime
Use synonyms
 owing to the same
punishment
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the life sentence imprisonment for both the victims,
such
Linking Words
 as one who
conducted
Verb problem
committed
show examples
first degree
Use the right word
first-degree
show examples
murdered
Replace the word
murder
show examples
, and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 who
steal
Wrong verb form
stole
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable things.
This
Linking Words
 could reduce the
crime
Use synonyms
 on the street where robbery
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and physical
assualt
Correct your spelling
assault
 are common. Fear of
judgement
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, makes everyone
cautions
Replace the word
cautious
show examples
 about
any
Verb problem
committing any
show examples
 kind of
crime
Use synonyms
 to commit
due to
Linking Words
 the hefty
consquences
Correct your spelling
consequences
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that giving judgment without clear detail and proof can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
in
Check wording
injustice in
show examples
justice
Check wording
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
law making
Use the right word
law-making
show examples
. It is seen that most of the
crime
Use synonyms
doer
Fix the agreement mistake
doers
show examples
 who become the target of false
allegation
Fix the agreement mistake
allegations
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 they
never
Verb problem
were never
show examples
 convicted
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
For instance
Linking Words
, the
Hyderbad sexualt assualt
Correct your spelling
Hyderabad sexual assault
 case, where the female employee had wrongly targeted her boss in order to get the promotion.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Law
Use synonyms
 blindly followed the words of the victim, and
given
Verb problem
was given
show examples
 10 years of imprisonment for the
crime
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solid evidence is as important
while
Linking Words
 making any
judgement
Use synonyms
 so that
innocent
Correct article usage
the innocent
show examples
 can be justified.
Overall
Linking Words
, I still opine that the judge should give
punishment
Use synonyms
 based on the proper proof. Another reason
stem
Correct subject-verb agreement
stems
show examples
 from the fact that
people
Use synonyms
conduct
Verb problem
commit
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 various factor
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 includes poverty or lack of
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
. So
punishement
Correct your spelling
punishment
 should be given based on the intensity of the
crime
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who break traffic rules should
fined
Verb problem
be fined
show examples
,
instead
Linking Words
 of
imprisonement
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
.
This
Linking Words
 gives a chance to improve themselves, and correct
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mistake. By doing
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can live more freely without fear of harsh
Use synonyms
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, both sides present strong arguments.
However
Linking Words
, lawmakers should be careful
while
Linking Words
 making
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a judgement
show examples
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
show examples
 because it can cost
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 if the evidence
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not
behalf
Check wording
in favour
show examples
 of the victims. Bring fair justice by bearing in mind
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the motive behind the
crime
Use synonyms
 could
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve from their own
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
 and lead
harmony
Replace the word
a harmonious
show examples
 life in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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structure
Plan your work with a clear goal. Write a short opening that says you will look at both sides and then say your own view at the end.
structure
Group ideas in two clear blocks: one for fixed rules and one for rules by crime reason. End with a clear view.
linking
Use simple links to show order, like First, Next, Finally, Also, But. Check that each sentence follows from the one before.
example
Give real and simple examples that fit the point you make. Explain why the example supports your claim.
editing
Check your spelling and word form so the meaning is clear.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides, which is good for task response.
structure
There are some good linking words that help the flow of ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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