IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that young people should be required to do unpaid work in their spare time to help their community. Others argue that this should be a personal choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A section of society thinks that to help the community, youngsters should involve themselves in volunteer
work
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 when they have some leisure
time
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;
however
Linking Words
, others believe that it is a personal choice. In my opinion, helping society will boost the cognitive skills of young people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they will
also
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 become more responsible. On the one hand, unpaid
work
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 fosters the development of cognitive skills.
This
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 is because
while
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 assisting others, teenagers can enhance their problem-solving skills.
For example
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, working at an early age would make them more creative. They will likely solve their own problems without depending on others.
As a result
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, their brains start functioning alone
and
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, and
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 they will become more independent.
Moreover
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, working in
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare
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time
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 will stop them from engaging in other detrimental activities,
such
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 as drugs, harassment and many more.
Consequently
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, they will become more responsible and focused.
On the other hand
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, no one can force the
minds
Fix the agreement mistake
mind
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 to
work
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 without money. Working as a volunteer is a personal choice. There should be no rules or regulations for young people to spend their free
time
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 on unpaid
work
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. If they have other interests or goals, they can accomplish those goals in their spare
time
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 by working on them.
For instance
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, if anyone wants to be a musician, they can focus on
this
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 talent and can be a professional in future. In conclusion,
although
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 volunteer
work
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 possesses various advantages to youngsters, it is a personal choice and no one can force them to do so.
However
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, elders can encourage them to
work
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 for society by telling
the
Correct pronoun usage
them the
show examples
 benefits of it.

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structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear sentence that states its main point.
content
Add one or two clear examples for each view and explain why they matter to the idea.
clarity
State your own view clearly in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
accuracy
Avoid big claims without proof; use balanced and careful language.
language
Keep sentences short and use simple words; check for grammar and word choice.
content
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
structure
The writer gives a clear personal view in the intro and ends with it.
coherence
Link words like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' help flow.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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