Some people believe that it is a good idea to express their points of views and ideas through social media. However, others believe the opposite. Who do you support and why?

I chase
beauty
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because I once lost it. When my chin stopped developing during puberty, my face became uneven and distorted. I went from a rosy-cheeked, cute child to a teenager with a deformed chin and skin that was both acne-scarred and dark. I desperately tried everything I could think of to regain the
beauty
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I had lost—braces, strict diets, even stretching the skin around my chin, despite knowing it would never look normal again. Until one day, as I stared at the pencil and eraser on my desk, it suddenly hit me: through art, I could create a
world
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where
ugliness
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simply doesn’t exist. My experiences with
ugliness
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—or more precisely, the feeling of being ugly—didn’t end with insecurity. Half a year of being bullied in ninth grade left deep psychological wounds. Whenever I stepped into a new environment, I was always the first person others avoided. I had to work twice as hard to prove myself through my personality and abilities, just to hope people might see something—anything—beyond my appearance. And yet, there were always those looks—especially from girls who worshipped appearance—looks filled with baseless disgust. Once,
while
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waiting for my parents to pick me up, a group of girls stood far away, giggling, betting on who could sit next to me the longest, treating being near me as if it were some kind of challenge. But the moment that truly broke me came later, when I placed a self-portrait I had just drawn beside a mirror to check for mistakes. The drawing was lovely, yet the reflection staring back at me felt distorted and clumsy. I couldn’t help comparing the two. That contrast made me understand something painful
:
Punctuation problem
.
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I always start every relationship at a “negative” level of goodwill, and even the smallest mistake might be enough for someone to hate me forever. Maybe it was growth, or maybe it was just a way to escape, but I slowly learned to smile brightly in every photo—and
then
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never look at them again. My gallery became filled only with landscapes and beautiful artworks made by other people. My eyes drifted away from
mirrors
Correct article usage
the mirrors
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and fixed themselves entirely on
art
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the art
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. I drew relentlessly, as if that “
world
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where
ugliness
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doesn’t exist” was the only place I truly belonged. I wasn’t trying to please others anymore—I had to focus on improving my craft. Perfect body proportions, perfect perspective; I refused to let the distortions of my real appearance exist within the bright, beautiful
world
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I created through art. And
then
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, at some point, that
world
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became so vivid that I forgot my
ugliness
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had ever existed. In my mind, there was only
beauty
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beauty
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shaped by my own hands and imagination. I regained confidence not by accepting my face, but by
realizing
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realising
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that the artistic
world
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I had poured myself into was itself a part of my
beauty
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. Maybe I failed to reclaim the
beauty
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I once had, maybe I failed to accept my appearance—but I chose to create my own
beauty
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instead
Linking Words
. That
world
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began as still images, but now I want it to live, to move. I want that better
world
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to have stories. I’m willing to trade days, weeks, even months in reality for just a few seconds of life inside that “
world
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without
ugliness
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.” I want to bring that
world
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closer to everyone—and to myself—so the insecure child I once was can
finally
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find a ray of happiness after all those years of trying endlessly.

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task response
You did not answer the given task. State clearly who you support and why. Add a direct view in the first paragraph and give reasons in the body.
coherence
Your idea flows well most of the time. Use clear links to move from past events to the turning point and to the end. Keep a strong path from start to finish.
coherence
Use simple link words like 'first','then','after','next','but','so' to show steps and links.
content
Clear story with a strong turning point.
imagery
Uses vivid detail to show emotion.
organization
Good structure: intro, build up, turning point, end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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