IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

News media often focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

It is often argued that news organisations mainly highlight problems and emergencies rather than positive developments.
This
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 essay completely agrees with
this
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 view.
Firstly
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, negative stories attract more audiences and
therefore
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 generate more profit for the media;
secondly
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,
this
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 constant focus on crises can negatively affect
people
Use synonyms
’s mental health and create unnecessary fear.
People
Use synonyms
 engage more with alarming reports, as they are unexbicted, resulting in a significant view count, leading to a higher rating for the channel.
Moreover
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,
this
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 type of news is crucial for citizens as it might affect them. For all that, the broadcasters gain a huge profit, and
that is
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 why they focus on
this
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 type of media. An example, during
Covid-19
Punctuation problem
Covid-19,
show examples
 it was the peak for reporters as
people
Use synonyms
 from around the world viewed the channel all day long to get the
leatest
Correct your spelling
latest
 update.
However
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, it can easily harm the community, especially
crime related
Use the right word
crime-related
show examples
 news.
People
Use synonyms
 from several age groups can
get
Verb problem
experience
show examples
 anxiety and fear that certain situations
occur
Verb problem
will occur
show examples
 to them. The consistent thinking can result in many
haert related
Correct your spelling
heart-related
 problems and mental issues. An instance, the story about the kid who
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
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 into a water well, everyone was scared thinking how
can
Verb problem
apply
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he
survive
Verb problem
could survive
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 and how
could
Correct pronoun usage
they could
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we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prevent that from happening in the future, so no one was able to live normally as they used to be, they were more aware of
eveyrthing
Correct your spelling
everything
. In conclusion, one of the primary reasons
origanisations
Correct your spelling
organisations
 showcase negative stories is to increase their profit because
people
Use synonyms
 follow them more than success stories and
achivments
Correct your spelling
achievements
.

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tip
Add balance by also noting positive news and show why negatives are often shown, with clear proof.
tip
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence and finish with a short point.
tip
Use simple linking words like first, next, also, but, however, finally to show order and cause.
strength
The writer takes a clear stand and states it in the first part.
strength
Examples such as Covid news and the kid case are given to back points.
strength
There is a closing line that repeats the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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