IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

In many countries, employees
work
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 exceptionally long
hours
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, often far beyond the standard eight-hour day.
This
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 trend has multiple underlying causes, and
while
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 it may bring certain short-term benefits, I believe it is largely a negative development for individuals and society. One reason people spend long
hours
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 at
work
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 is the increasing pressure of modern economic competition. As companies strive to remain profitable and efficient, employees are often expected to take on heavier workloads and meet tight deadlines. In some cultures, long working
hours
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 are
also
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 associated with dedication and professionalism, making workers feel compelled to stay late to demonstrate commitment.
Moreover
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, the rising cost of living in many urban areas forces individuals to
work
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 overtime or even hold multiple jobs to afford basic necessities
such
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 as housing, education, and healthcare. Technological advancements have
also
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 blurred the boundaries between
work
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 and personal life, enabling employers to contact staff outside working
hours
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 and encouraging a culture of constant availability.
Although
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 longer working
hours
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 can sometimes lead to higher income and increased productivity in the short term, the
overall
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 consequences are predominantly negative. Extended working periods often result in chronic stress, fatigue, and various health problems, including heart disease and depression. These issues not only reduce individual well-being but
also
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 negatively affect productivity over time, as exhausted employees are more prone to mistakes. Social relationships
also
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 suffer when people have little time for families, friends, or leisure activities. On a broader scale, a society that normalises overworking may experience declining birth rates, burnout among its workforce, and lower
overall
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 life satisfaction. In conclusion,
while
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 economic pressures and cultural expectations contribute to the phenomenon of long working
hours
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, the disadvantages clearly outweigh the benefits. Encouraging
work
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-life balance is essential for ensuring a healthy, productive, and sustainable society.

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task response
The essay keeps a clear view and gives reasons and good examples. To push to a higher band, add more strong facts or data, and show some counter view to show what a different choice would be.
coherence cohesion
The flow of ideas is easy to follow with good sign posts. Some long lines make reading hard. Try to use shorter lines, and use bridging words to link ideas well so the text keeps a smooth pace.
task response
Clear view that long hours are mainly bad and a fair mix of reasons is given.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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