IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rise of instant food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern lifestyle. What are the advantages and disadvantages with this trend?

Nowadays, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who consume
junk
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food
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 has significantly increased. There are several reasons for
this
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 trend.
For example
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, many working individuals have limited
time
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 to cook at home, so they prefer quick and convenient meals in order to keep up with the fast-paced modern lifestyle.
While
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this
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posseses
Correct your spelling
possesses
 some drawbacks for human life. There are many benefits that are obtained. I will
give
Fix capitalization
Give
show examples
 my opinion
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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about
Change preposition
on
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 the advantages and disadvantages. Looking first at the negative impact of eating
junk
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food
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. Fast cooking with sodium, sugar,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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large number of calories in a short period of
time
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, which is
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 for
a
Correct article usage
the
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 human body.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 a large amount of
junk
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food
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 can lead to a large number of diseases
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for
Punctuation problem
, for
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instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
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 obesity, heart disease, type 2
diabets
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, stroke and other
illnesess
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illnesses
.
Linking Words
Moreover
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Moreover,
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 there are more and more places with unhealthy
food
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 that
people
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 find
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and
accecible
Correct your spelling
accessible
, especially with their busy schedules.
On the other hand
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, it makes life easier for the working class
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 all
people
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 have the
time
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 to cook and make their meal after busy days, especially if they live alone and work
Punctuation problem
. its
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its
Use the right word
It's
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 just not possible for some
people
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do
Verb problem
to do
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 everything at once.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 after
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
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day
Punctuation problem
day,
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 they can order
food
Use synonyms
 through a mobile app and get a quick boost of energy. In
this
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 way, fast
food
Use synonyms
 saves
time
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 and allows individuals to focus on their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and other responsibilities. In conclusion,
while
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 instant
food
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 makes life more convenient and efficient. It
also
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 brings health risks.
People
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 should try to maintain a balanced diet by limiting
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 and
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 better alternatives.

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task response
The essay tries to talk about both sides, but there is no clear view. It would help to pick a simple main idea for what you think and keep it to the end. Add more detail for each side.
coherence
The text has a plan but ideas are not well linked. Use clear paragraphs and simple linking words like first, next, also, but, so, and in conclusion.
structure
The writer does address both sides and ends with a short conclusion.
content
There are concrete examples in places, such as use of mobile apps for take‑out.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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