IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think students should not leave universities without good understanding of how to manage their money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that financial management plays a vital role in
improvement
Replace the word
improving
show examples
 the economic condition of individuals.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that students in a high stage should focus on
this
Linking Words
 concept to enhance their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. From my perspective, I tend to believe that we should educate scholars about that
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
leaners
Use the right word
learners
show examples
 at university age are able to improve their thinking and
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 themself, especially in their expenditure.
In other words
Linking Words
, the education authorities should adopt and
implementing
Wrong verb form
implement
show examples
 some economic courses, which can bring more success in
pupil's
Check wording
pupils'
show examples
 lives.
In addition
Linking Words
, teachers should give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them many examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the success about the benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 trend.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
obligate
Wrong verb form
obligating
show examples
 the students to attend these classes
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it is better to make it
optional
Correct article usage
an optional
show examples
 option.
For example
Linking Words
, some households learn their
Childs
Check wording
children
show examples
 about
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 their funds
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
show examples
 early stage, which can bring greater success in the later periods. Another point to consider is that some young adults believe that they should get independence and freedom in expenses. It
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 possible to consider that the interval from eighteen to twenty-five is a sensitive term.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should deal with them by using
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ideal patterns and manners that align with
student's
Check wording
students'
show examples
 minds.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the families play a vital role in
this
Linking Words
 operation, and they should
engage
Verb problem
take on
show examples
 the responsibility with the learning institutions.
For instance
Linking Words
, some governments in distinct countries like the UK, the
USA
Punctuation problem
USA,
show examples
 introduce and
organizing
Verb problem
organise
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive initiatives to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families to learn their children about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of
this
Linking Words
 trend. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 topic is worth considering
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, I tend to make it
as
Use the right word
an
show examples
unmadantory
Correct your spelling
optional
 selection.

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structure
State your view clearly in the intro and restate it at the end. Use 2-3 strong ideas with short examples.
coherence
Give each idea its own paragraph with a topic sentence. Use simple linking words to show order and addition.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Use simple words and short sentences to avoid mistakes that hide meaning.
content
Do not repeat ideas. Stay on the task and give one clear example for each point.
content
You show a clear view that money talk should be taught early.
structure
The essay has intro, body, and conclusion parts.
content
Some ideas are there and you try to explain the pros and cons.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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