IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think cheaper air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expansive in order to discourage people to have it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Opinions are often divided as to whether there should be some alterations to the
cost
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 of
air
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travel
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.
This
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 essay will analyse both sides of the matter before showcasing my final point. On the one hand, decreasing the price of
air
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travel
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 seems justifiable from a citizen's perspective. By choosing a more affordable
cost
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 for the consumers, almost anyone coming from different social backgrounds, even those struggling, can have access to flights.
This
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,
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apply
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 not only reflects equality for human rights but
also
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 may potentially foster social equity, nurturing a more harmonious and inclusive society to live in.
However
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, equally important is the concern about environmental matters.
Air
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travel
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 is considered to be one of the strongest polluters, releasing a great amount of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere.
Such
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 pollutants, if not diminished, will
further
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 reinforce climate change and other negative weather conditions.
Therefore
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,
although
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 boosting the
cost
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 of
air
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travel
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 hampers comprehensive privilege, it enables individuals to mitigate natural catastrophes that can directly harm the wellness of the living world. In light of these considerations, I contend that there should be a balance in the changes of
air
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 fares. On the one
side
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hand
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, a growth in prices for those who are wealthy and taking first class should be advisable, as they can affordably pay. With the less prosperous, the
cost
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 shall remain the same to continually welcome customers and generate revenues.
Nonetheless
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, investors could add some optional fees serving environmentally friendly users, raising the awareness and the responsibility of
air
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 clients.

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task response
Make your view clear in the opening lines and say your main idea in one sentence.
task response
Add specific examples or data to back up each idea so the reader can see real proof.
coherence
Use clear link words and keep one idea per paragraph to grow a steady flow.
language
Check word form and order to avoid odd phrases and be easy to read.
task response
Care to show both sides of the topic.
coherence
You use clear sign posts like 'On the one hand' and 'However' to guide the reader.
coherence
There is a plan to balance price and fee ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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