IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is necessary to use animals for testing medicines intended for human use. Others, however, think it is cruel to do that. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the contemporary world, there are many
people
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 suffering from many diseases, like
,
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apply
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 coronavirus and cancer. To prevent and cure them, some
people
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 argue that the use of
animals
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 for testing medicine is a beneficial way
,
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;
show examples
however
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, many
people
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 believe that it is inhumane. Both views will be discussed before formulating my own opinion. on the one hand supporters of the testing
medicines
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 on
animals
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 believe that
animals
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 have same biological and chemical features in their body like human for that reason they consider before launching new vaccine it has to be tested on
animals
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 because
due to
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 the same chemical properties in they produce same results
in contrast
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 if there are any side effects emerges it can be manage by giving special treatment. For
instances
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instance
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, mice are observed in a laboratory by giving
such
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 newly produced
medicines
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 until they produce good results by changing the dosage limit.
On the other hand
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 many
people
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 think that it is in human testing
such
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medicines
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 on
animals
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 because there is a no guarantee that outcomes are proper, sometimes results becomes severe and cause the death of an animal
due to
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 the hormonal changes and chemical alternation in the body
moreover
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 there are many
people
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 thinking that apart from that method it is necessary to develop some other methods to test the
medicines
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. In conclusion, both sides have a strong argument regarding the use of
animals
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 for
medicine
Replace the word
medical
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 testing. In my opinion government should introduce a balanced method, so that the prevention of
animals
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should
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can
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 be ensured and
also
Linking Words
 the safety and well-being of society.

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task response
Task response: say your view clearly in the start and again in the end. Right now the view is not very clear.
task response
Task response: add more clear reasons and simple examples to back up each idea.
coherence
Coherence: keep one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a line that tells the idea, then add 2-3 short sentences.
coherence
Coherence: use linking words to show the flow between ideas, like 'but', 'also', 'in addition', 'however'.
coherence
Coherence: be sure who 'they' refers to so the reader does not get lost.
structure
Two sides are shown and a view is given at the end.
structure
Introduction and conclusion exist.
content
There are real ideas and an example of mice.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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