IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the use of media is replacing face to face interaction among many people in society. Do you yhink the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 we will
expain
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explain
 the potential effects of
tecnology
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technology
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social interaction between people. I strongly believe that
this
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aceveration it
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accusation
 is false. We have been raised in a society where the rush dominated our
lifes
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lives
, and people
tries
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try
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 to find the simplest pathway for doing almost
everythig
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everything
, with the excuse that "they can do more in less time". Completing
this
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 idea, people do not schedule
in person
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in-person
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 interviews or dates, because it is easier to do it online, and that could be
and
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an
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 advantage, the time saving. But talking as a child
neurologist
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neurologist,
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 I strongly
emphazice
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emphasise
 that
face to face
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face-to-face
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 relationships
o
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or
apoinments
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appointments
allows
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allow
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 you to focus
in
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on
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 the main idea that you want to discuss, avoiding some distractors as
mails
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emails
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 or
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
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.
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Also
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Also,
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 some studies
demonstrates
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demonstrate
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 that face interpretation, expressions lecture and non-verbal language give you a big
ammount
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amount
 of information about the other one, and
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this
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these
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 characteristics can be mainly seen with a real physical
aproach
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approach
.
In
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addition
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addition,
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 the brain networks that you create or boost when you
socialize
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socialise
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 with a real person (not a screen) could not grow if you
just
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apply
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only use media to interact. Another huge reason to avoid media interaction is the mental diseases that
indirectly
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it indirectly
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cause
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causes
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. Social media has been one of the top reasons for the increases in
axiaety
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anxiety
 and depression. So I completely disagree with the statement, I hope
in
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that in
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a
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the
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 future we could come back to the old traditions,
for example
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having
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, having
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the
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apply
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dinner
with
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without
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no
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apply
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electronic devices. Nowdays

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structure
Plan your essay with a short outline before you write.
structure
Write one clear view in the intro and end with a short restatement of it.
cohesion
Each paragraph should deal with one idea. Start with a topic sentence.
content
Give simple, real examples to back your points.
language
Check spelling and grammar to make your message clear.
content
You show a clear view against the idea in the prompt.
content
You talk about non-verbal cues and how the brain works in person.
content
There is some good reason to explain why in-person talk matters.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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