IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of politicians rather than individuals to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent decades, environmental degradation has become a global concern, sparking a debate over whether
politicians
Use synonyms
 or individuals should take primary responsibility for protection. From my perspective, I disagree with the view that
politicians
Use synonyms
 alone are accountable—both sides play indispensable roles, with joint efforts being crucial.
Politicians
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly shoulder vital responsibilities
due to
Linking Words
 their administrative power and resource influence. They can formulate strict environmental policies,
such
Linking Words
 as carbon emission caps and pollution fines, to restrain industrial pollution at the source.
For instance
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, many governments have imposed higher taxes on high-emission enterprises, forcing them to upgrade
clean
Change preposition
to clean
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 technologies.
Additionally
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,
politicians
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 can allocate public funds to support renewable energy research and ecological restoration projects, which individuals lack the capacity to achieve on a large scale.
Such
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 macro-level measures lay a fundamental foundation for environmental protection.
However
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, individual actions are equally irreplaceable, as environmental issues are closely linked to daily life. Small
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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 like reducing single-use plastic, saving water and electricity, and choosing low-carbon travel can accumulate into significant environmental benefits.
For example
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, if millions of people opt for cycling or carpooling
instead
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 of driving alone, urban air pollution and carbon emissions will be greatly reduced.
Moreover
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, individuals’ environmental awareness drives social supervision—public attention to polluting
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 can push enterprises and governments to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their obligations better. Without individual participation, even the strictest policies may fail to take effect. In conclusion,
politicians
Use synonyms
’ policy-making and resource support are essential for large-scale environmental protection,
while
Linking Words
 individual daily efforts and supervision form the micro foundation. Only by combining political guidance with individual practice can we effectively address environmental problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, both
politicians
Use synonyms
 and individuals share the responsibility to protect the environment.

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improvement
Add a clear link in the intro that you will talk about both sides and end with a strong view.
improvement
Try to keep long ideas in one line and use short, direct sentences.
improvement
Give more real, easy examples from daily life and switch to simple facts.
improvement
Balance: keep one main idea per paragraph and show how idea links to next.
content
Clear view that both gov and people matter.
content
Good use of examples to show point.
structure
Strong closing that restates the need for both sides.
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