Old buildings should be preserved because they reflect a country’s history. Others believe they should be demolished to make room for modern housing developments. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rising concern regarding the importance of
preservation of
Wrong verb form
preserving
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historical
buildings
Use synonyms
.
Although
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some people argue that they need to be safeguarded as they represent the tradition of one’s land, others believe that they should be demolished to adopt
contemproray
Correct your spelling
contemporary
changes in housing development.
This
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essay will discuss both these views in detail before presenting my view on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Advocates of preserving the old infrastructure argue that they depict a nation’s heritage, and
thus
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need to be protected. The design of a traditional building demonstrates the architectural
brillance
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brilliance
of a region.
In other words
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, it is a symbolic representation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history.
For example
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, the
buildings
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in Europe, which can be
aged
Verb problem
dated
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back to the early 17th and 18th centuries, are protected as they are historical relics of the modern industrialisation era.
On the other hand
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, supporters of modern housing developments believe that
olden
Correct word choice
old
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structures should be demolished to promote advanced structural architecture. As the land is already equipped with traditional housing apartments, there is less room for novel constructions.
Hence
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, it is the need of the hour to remove old
buildings
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and create space for new ones.
For instance
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, nowadays, young adults prefer to transform traditional houses into modern, well-equipped villas
due to
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the comfort and
conveinance
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convenience
they offer. In my opinion, I strongly believe that though it is important to preserve history, modern developments are essential for economic growth. Historical
buildings
Use synonyms
can be protected
while
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incorporating advanced reformations, which can modify
it
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them
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into a source of income. The concept of heritage tourism can be cited as an example
to
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of
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it
Punctuation problem
it,
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where traditional villas are transformed into heritage resorts that attract tourists and generate revenue.
Thus
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, a
balnced
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balanced
approach can ensure stability between traditional and modern values. In conclusion, the traditional architecture requires protection
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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not at the cost of advanced housing developments. By merging historical
buildings
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and modern housing ideas, it can pave
way
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the way
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towards cultural harmony.

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Task response
State your view in the first paragraph and keep it clear. Explain both sides and then your own view.
Coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph have one big idea. Start with a clear sentence and end by tying to your view.
Language use
Use easy words. Check spellings and use simple form. For example, 'modern' is better than 'contemporary'.
Content
Give specific examples to back points. Do not only give opinion.
Structure
Clear plan with intro, two body parts, and conclusion.
Content
Shows both sides and a view, which fits task well.
Ideas
Some good real examples, like Europe as a heritage area.
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