IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, many people do not know their neigbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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today's busy world, many individuals are not even familiar with their
neighbours
Use synonyms
, especially in
the
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apply
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big urban cities.
This
Linking Words
 problem can lead to multiple negative consequences
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be discussed in the
below paragraphs
Correct word order
paragraphs below
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Punctuation problem
, alongwith
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alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
 the possible preventive measures. The first and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foremost problem of
this
Linking Words
 scenario could be the
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 of
introvert
Correct article usage
the introvert
show examples
 nature of human beings. Meaning, focusing only on the
professioanl
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professional
 life and not getting
socialized
Change the spelling
socialised
show examples
 in the personal life can make a person
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
. Apparently,
people
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 will not have anyone to spend their free time
or
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with or
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 talk to
someone
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apply
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about their mental stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 could invite a lot of mental disorders like depression.
This
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 could be easily explained from an example of a report which was published in a scientific journal,
mentionning
Correct your spelling
mentioning
 that approximately 60% of the youth population is so
much
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apply
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involved in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 work life that they are not getting enough time to spend with family, friends and
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 have anyone to share their stress with
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will lead to the
developpement
Correct your spelling
development
 of several mental disorders like depression, bipolar disorder, and many more.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
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 problems of not knowing the
neighbours
Use synonyms
 could easily be addressed. The first solution to
this
Linking Words
 dilemma could be the implementation of appropriate
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 policies to protect the
youths
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youth
show examples
 from becoming
the
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apply
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slaves of the private sector businesses.
For instance
Linking Words
, following a
strich
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strict
 work schedule of
monday
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Monday
show examples
 to
friday
Fix capitalization
Friday
show examples
, 9 am to 5 pm
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 all the private sector employees, could solve a vast majority of
such
Linking Words
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
show examples
 problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the society should
organize
Change the spelling
organise
show examples
 some get-togethers for the
people
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 living in their society.
This
Linking Words
 will allow
people
Use synonyms
 to
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
introduction
Replace the word
introduced
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 their fellow
neighbours
Use synonyms
. From the
above mentionned
Correct your spelling
above-mentioned
 points, it could be concluded that the issues related to not knowing the
neighbours
Use synonyms
 will persist as long as
people
Use synonyms
,
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 and businesses are not brought together.

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structure
Plan your ideas in a clear order and stick to what the task asks. Do not add many new points in one part.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. Break long lines into small, clear ones to keep flow.
content
Give a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to show the main idea.
content
Use one or two easy examples and connect them to your point.
content
You show the issue of not knowing neighbours and its effect on people.
structure
You give ideas on how to fix the problem.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Communal support
  • Shared responsibility
  • Neighborhood safety
  • Emergency situations
  • Community watch
  • Neighborhood initiatives
  • Communication and trust
  • Anonymity
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Community events
  • Online forums
  • Social media groups
  • Neighborhood welcome committees
  • Volunteer projects
  • Community centers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: