IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make thier own choises on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and gave your own opinion.

The
debait
Correct your spelling
debate
 of allowing
children
Use synonyms
 to make
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
 on
dialy
Correct your spelling
daily
 matters has gained attention in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 decision-making
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can build
narcissistic
Correct article usage
a narcissistic
show examples
 society,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 topics are
impacable
Correct your spelling
impactful
 on
Use synonyms
thier carecter
Correct your spelling
their character
.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the one hand, decision-making depends on the age
qroup
Correct your spelling
group
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 preschoolers are immature and need
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help and guidance to make the right decision,
while
Linking Words
schooler
Fix the agreement mistake
schoolers
show examples
 are usually mature and in many cases they are able to make
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
desision
Correct your spelling
decision
.
nevertheles
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, all
of
Correct word order
children of
show examples
children
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 need
to guidness
Verb problem
guidance
show examples
 from their parents and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
becase
Correct your spelling
because
 they play an important role in
children
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and always manage to come up with
bereliant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
 ideas and solutions.
decision
Fix capitalization
Decision
show examples
 making can build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence and develop some skills
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 independent
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
show examples
 in many
cases
Punctuation problem
cases,
show examples
 can be more
seccessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 in the future.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
 the other hand, some people
beliveve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
this
Linking Words
 matter can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, which the
decesion making
Correct your spelling
decision-making
 has
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 to build
indiveduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who stand on
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own
feets
Fix the agreement mistake
feet
show examples
 in regard to making
decesions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 and build
narssis
Correct your spelling
a narcissistic
 society that just
care
Correct subject-verb agreement
cares
show examples
 about
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 own wishes
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 others.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
that children
show examples
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 decision-making has advantages that
overwight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 any potential drawbacks,
althow
Correct your spelling
although their
thier
Use synonyms
 parents should be careful and help them with
guidness
Correct your spelling
guidance
 to make
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 decisions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Use a clear plan with 4 paragraphs: intro, two body para, and a short conclusion. Start with a simple sentence on the topic and your view.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Use basic word form and common words.
task
Stick to the topic. Do not add new points outside the task. Give a short example for each point.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides of the issue.
structure
There is a final line that shows the writer has an opinion.
content
The idea of age as a factor is used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: