IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, too many people maintain their health by relyin doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lif To what extent do you agree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that our health is very precious.
Therefore
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, we should stick to it and deal with it wisely.
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While it
Change preposition
It
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 is a commonly held belief that they should depend on specialists to maintain their physical fitness. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic, followed by my opinion.  
To begin
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 with, in recent decades, many diseases have appeared, and they are closely linked to bad routines.
Subsequently
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, the public is heavily dependent on doctors to tackle these illnesses.
In other words
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, a medicine can bring unmatched results in treating many cases
due to
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 advanced instruments, which are used in the diagnosis process.
In addition
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, many physicians, especially those in developed nations, have a high quality of knowledge. Wherefore, a huge number of patients do not care about the preventive measures.
For instance
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, poor people with a low level of awareness, especially those who live in Africa and East Asia, do not have
consciousness
Check wording
awareness
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about
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of
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 alternative ways to keep their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 healthy. Another point to consider, the veracity authorities should allocate massive initiatives to increase the awareness among citizens.
Moreover
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, they should formulate lifestyle programs in schools to enhance the concept of validity among new generations.
Furthermore
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, educating the elderly about the risks of harmful diets.
For instance
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, the Ministry of Health in the KSA provides many clinics, which have a direct connection with health education, which contribute to
increase
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increasing
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 the average ages in the population. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the prophylactic procedures, because they can bring greater success in society's veracity.
Moreover
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, they can improve the quality of life.
However
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, these actions require immense effort and collaboration between the politicians and humans.

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content
State your view in the first paragraph and keep it clear in all parts.
structure
Make one main idea per paragraph and use simple links to the topic.
language
Use easy, short words. Long, hard words can make your point go away.
content
Give clear, real examples that fit the point you make.
style
Check your grammar and use short sentences. This makes it easy to read.
structure
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
content
It gives some real places as examples.
content
It shows a link between health and doctors’ role.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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