IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that climate effects the person’s way of life while other believe that climate has greater impact on economy of a region. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although
Linking Words
 the
climate
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
Use synonyms
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
 on an
individuals
Check wording
individual's
show examples
 mental health, I agree that the
climate
Use synonyms
 has a big
impact
Use synonyms
 on the
country
Use synonyms
's
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 system, because it gives privileges that other
countries
Use synonyms
 might not get. On the one hand, the
climate
Use synonyms
 impacts a
persons
Check wording
person's
show examples
 mental stage
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it
differes
Correct your spelling
differs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 depending on
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 location. In every
climate
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
weather
Use synonyms
 changes and is different all year
around
Use the right word
round
show examples
, but that makes the
people
Use synonyms
 who live in different climates experience different
weathers
Fix the agreement mistake
weather
show examples
. The
weather
Use synonyms
 has a big
impact
Use synonyms
 on how the person feels and
what is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
their mental
stage
Use the right word
state
show examples
. As
and
Use the right word
an
show examples
 example, the Northern
countries
Use synonyms
 are proven to be more depressed
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 the
countries
Use synonyms
 in the South. That shows that, because the
countries
Use synonyms
 in
North
Correct article usage
the North
show examples
 get
more cold
Correct word choice
colder
show examples
Use synonyms
weather
Punctuation problem
weather,
show examples
 they experience more depression.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when a
country
Use synonyms
 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
weather
Use synonyms
 for a specific product, it gives better
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 privileges
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 might not have. If in a
country
Use synonyms
 there is a good sale for some product,
that is
Linking Words
 because it is not
selled
Correct your spelling
sold
 so much in other
countries
Use synonyms
. It is most likely that in that region the
climate
Use synonyms
 is not the same as in the
country
Use synonyms
 that produces
this
Linking Words
 product, and that gives economically the privilege to that
country
Use synonyms
 because of the
climate
Use synonyms
. As an example, some part of Brazil's economy consists of the coffee industry, because the
climate
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 is preferred for coffee growing. I agree with
this
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because I think that by having a good economy, that
also
Linking Words
 impacts the
people
Use synonyms
 and the way they live. The
climate
Use synonyms
 can leave a big
impact
Use synonyms
 on
people
Use synonyms
 and how they think and live
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, by having privileges in the region of the world that gives good opportunities for the
country
Use synonyms
's economy,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think that it
gives
Verb problem
also has
show examples
 an
impact
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 for
people
Use synonyms
 and the way they live and think.

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task response
Explain both views with a clear and fair balance, then state your own clear opinion that reflects the question.
coherence
Make a simple layout: an intro, two body parts for each view, and a short conclusion. Use linking words to show order.
coherence
Connect ideas in one paragraph. Use simple transitions like 'also', 'but', 'however' to help flow.
language
Check grammar and spell well. Some words are wrong or are used in odd ways. Use 'depression' not 'depressed', 'income' instead of 'economic system' in simple form.
content
Give more clear examples that fit the idea. For example, say how climate helps farming, tourism, or jobs, and how it might affect mental health like 'sad in winter'. Keep simple words.
content
The essay lays out two sides and a claim.
example
There is an example about Brazil and coffee.
structure
There is a basic 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' frame.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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