IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

scientists should stop using animals as experiments . discuss both views

The
use
Use synonyms
 of
animals
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 in scientific experiments has always been a controversial issue.
While
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 some
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 admit that the
use
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 of
animals
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 in scientific research is important to predict the result ,other
people
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 are against
this
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 idea and believe that
animals
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 have the right to live in peace.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and offer a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, many
people
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 agree that the
use
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 of pets in scientific labours play a vital role in the development of humanity:
due to
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 human needs nowadays,many labours are pushed to develop several new medicaments every year for thousands of illness .taking the exemple of malaria vaccine, many citizens around the world, specially in south africa, suffer from
this
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 murder virus so biologist are obligated to develop a solution for
this
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 fact
as well as
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 protect humans from secondary effects , so what's the solution ? They should test it on a rat , which will play a vital role in the process by giving a list of results to the scientist,who
then
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 can draw a certain conclusion.
On the other hand
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, it is widely believed that
animals
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 are not a source of information.
However
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, many
people
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 and organisations strongly defend the
use
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 of
animals
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 in research .Humans should find another alternative to ensure their development
as well as
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 protect the flora and fauna around the world. By using
animals
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 in laboratories,they risk extinction, which is already present in many races today. Taking the example of the panda,only a hundred of them are present today around the world. In the
last
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 decades , they were forced to live in extremely hard conditions just to understand their habits , which is absolutely a crime. In conclusion, it's true that we should protect
animals
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 by respecting ethics , but using
animals
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 in laboratories is a choice that we are forced to , to ensure our well-being.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro that says what you will discuss, then two body parts for each side, and a short final view.
coherence
Each paragraph have one big point. Say why and then give a small example.
coherence
Use simple link words like but, also, and, so, however to show change and link ideas.
grammar
Check grammar; use correct verb form and subject verb match in each sentence.
content
Choose good examples that fit the point and are easy to see how they help the view.
structure
The essay shows two sides and has a clear end to give a view.
content
Some good use of real things like disease and panda as examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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