IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some say that students should not be exposed to teachers' opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that tutors sometimes share their
opinion
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 and their point of view in many aspects
even
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, even
show examples
 in political
matter
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matters
show examples
during
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, during
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 class hours with their
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 some people do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 approach, others believe it is a good way to
horizen
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broaden
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students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 perspectives. In my
opinion
Use synonyms
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 style might have negative effects
in
Change preposition
on
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 attenders. because it reflects an essential truth about educators'
believes
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beliefs
show examples
. In the following paragraphs, I will outline the reasons behind my
opinion
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 and provide relevant examples to support it.
To begin
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 with,
students
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especially
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, especially
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in
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at
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young
Correct article usage
a young
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age
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ages
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ages,
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 need
a
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apply
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gudince
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guidance
 only from their parents to structure their personality
waithout
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without
 any influence from the outside.
In other words
Linking Words
, teachers have no right to discuss any topics outside the subjects they teach
,
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;
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 their only goal is to help
students
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 to have a
fully understand
Replace the word
full understanding
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 of the subjects they provide.
For example
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, parents who are fully aware of their
child
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child's
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cablites
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capabilities
 usually support
thier
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their
 child
in
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within
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 his own limits,
whereas
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 teachers who spend maybe only two hours with their
students
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 that
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are not fully aware of
thier
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their
needs
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needs,
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 share
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information that
break
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breaks
show examples
 all the
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
 and gives the
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 a
hopless
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hopeless
 dream that
he
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they
show examples
 might hold for the
his
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apply
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rest of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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life
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lives
show examples
.
In addition
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, there are many
senstive
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sensitive
 and
forbiden
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forbidden
 ideas that might be
expose
Wrong verb form
exposed
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 to the wrong
students
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,
that
Fix capitalization
That
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 could
destroies
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destroy
 so many
lifes
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lives
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a tutor
share
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shares
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 a simple
senstive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
opinion
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 that the
student
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out
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, out
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 of
curiosity
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curiosity,
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 went to do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deep research about,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has
harms
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
activites
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activities
might
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that might
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dangered
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endanger
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 society or other individuals. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people may have different views, I believe that teachers need to only to focus
on
Rephrase
only on
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 their main purpose
which
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, which
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 is providing
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student
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students
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 with
informations
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information
 included in the subject they teach.

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task response
The essay does not discuss both views well. It needs a clear plan that shows both sides and a final own view.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas better. Use simple linking words and keep one idea per paragraph.
language
There are many spelling and grammar mistakes. Use short sentences and common words. Check spellings.
structure
It shows a clear personal view and has a beginning and end.
content
The essay tries to give reasons and a few examples to back up the idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bias
  • authority
  • influence
  • critical thinking
  • conform
  • diversity of thought
  • neutral space
  • contextualize
  • framework
  • informed opinions
  • healthy debate
  • open dialogue
  • respect diverse viewpoints
  • democratic society
  • independent thinking
  • safeguard
What to do next:
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