IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people think the government should subsidise fruits and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Others argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,
people
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 believe that the government should subsidise
vegetables
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 and
fruits
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 to make healthy
food
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 available for everyone. Others believe that a better idea is to tax all unhealthy
food
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. I believe that subsidising
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 is an excellent idea. In
this
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 essay, both sides will be examined , and evidence will be presented to support my opinion. On the one hand, the
government
Check wording
government's
show examples
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decision to decrease
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 the prices of
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 is an excellent idea with many positive effects.
First,
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healthy
food
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 will reduce the risk of many diseases.
For example
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, healthy
food
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 will be available , so many
people
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 will prefer to buy healthier foods
instead
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 of buying unhealthy foods.
Second,
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healthy foods will help poor
people
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 to eat better.
For example
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, if
vegetables
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 and
fruits
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 are readily available to them, they can live a healthier life .
Finally
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,
instead
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 of eating fast
food
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,
people
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 will prefer to eat healthy
food
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 because the government has reduced the prices, making it available to everyone.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, many
people
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 believe that taxing unhealthy
food
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 is a more effective solution to reduce the problem.
First,
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taxing unhealthy
food
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 will reduce sales.
For example
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,
people
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 will prefer to buy cheaper
food
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instead
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 of buying unhealthy
food
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, which is now more expensive.
Second,
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the money collected from these taxes can be used to build hospitals or other public services.
Finally
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, taxing unhealthy
food
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 will make
people
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 prefer healthy
food
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 because of the affordability , the price and the quality. In conclusion, supporting healthy
food
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 and taxing unhealthy
food
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 products both have clear benefits. Even though both ideas can be used to help society become healthier and reduce disease, I personally believe that subsidising healthy
food
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 is a better option.

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structure
Make your plan for the essay. Put one big idea in each para so the flow is clear.
content
Give one clear example for each view. This adds proof to your ideas.
grammar
Watch grammar. A few mistakes can slow your point. check verb form and phrase use.
lexis
Use small but new words. Do not repeat the same few words. Try words like price, cost, tax, option.
conclusion
End with a line that matches what you said before. Do not add new idea in the end.
structure
The view is clear and shown in the start and end.
cohesion
Linking words help flow, like 'on the one hand' and 'however'.
content
The point that subsidy can help poor people is clear.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidise
  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • affordable
  • healthy food
  • unhealthy food
  • government
  • tax
  • encourage
  • buy
  • fresh food
  • processed food
  • population
  • healthcare costs
  • revenue
  • fitness programs
  • low-income families
  • fast food
  • accessible
  • prices
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