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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some psychologist recommend that to overcome stresses in daily life we should do nothing at all for a period of time of the day. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, stress has become more common for a lot of the population.
This
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 shift in perspective can impact many individuals in different ways.
This
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 essay argues that
while
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this
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 situation may put pressure on bodies' lives, it presents more disagreement than agreement. On the one hand, some psychologist has significant reasons to do nothing during stress in our daily life.
Firstly
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, some scientists have conducted research showing that society often does nothing to relieve its anxiety. They found that these people feel more relaxed by clearing their minds,
while
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 in our daily routine, we are busy working and completing our daily tasks.
In addition
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, taking a break during nervousness
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 works perfectly for energy release.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 statement , but it could be helpful to them.
On the other hand
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, supporters that against the idea on the question have strong, specific reasons. The primary reason, doing nothing may cause depression in some societies. To prevent depression, they can keep themselves busy.
For example
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, doing some activities like yoga or anything they enjoy is a better approach.
For instance
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, the bad energy of anxiety can be relieved by walking on the beach
,
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;
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 some scientists have found that stepping on the sand without shoes, there are particular spots on the feet that release any feeling in the human body. In conclusion, stress is part of our lives these days; we cannot sit doing nothing in life.
In other words
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, I believe society cannot waste its time; it can do any activities that help them to learn how they can release their fear.

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task response
Be clear about your view. State if you agree or disagree in the intro or end in the conclusion. Give 2 or 3 clear reasons.
coherence cohesion
Make the essay easy to read. Use one idea per paragraph. Use linking words like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'but', 'finally' to show order.
grammar
Fix big grammar mistakes so the sense is clear. Use plural form with people, not 'person', and check verb forms.
structure
The essay has an intro and a conclusion.
content
There is a two-side view with 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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