IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

While some people think that the problem with education in poor countries is the teaching methodology used , others believe it is the lack of resources that is the roal issues. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

no awareness no transportation... well developed ...
lack
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 of technology .... limited learning population is more
.....
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apply
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difficult to
accomodate
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accommodate
Education
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 is the biggest concern of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor nations. A group of people believes that the main issue of the
education
Use synonyms
 system of the poor
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
 is the techniques of teaching.
While
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 others think that not having sufficient tools is the main problem. I support the latter view. Reasons for
the
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apply
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both views and my opinion are discussed
further
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 in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, there are many reasons why a group of people opine that
,
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apply
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 inappropriate methods are the problem of the teaching system. The main reason is
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lack
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a lack
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 of practical skills.
Due to
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focus
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the focus
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 on only theoretical knowledge of the course, students are not able to perform well in
the
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apply
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real-life
scenario
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scenarios
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.
Moreover
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, some teaching techniques are only for getting good
score
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scores
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 in the studies.
For example
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,
mugging-up
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mugging up
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 the whole
chapters
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chapter
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 only to pass the exam, or providing the questions of the exam to increase literacy
of
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in
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 the city.
On the other hand
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,
Those
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those
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 who believe that
lack
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 of resources is the real
obstracle
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obstacle
 of the poor countries'
education
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, give their reasons as follows.
To begin
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 with, the first reason is unawareness of
importance
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the importance
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 of
education
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. Some countries do not have
budget
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the budget
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 to
spreading
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spread
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 awareness of
benefits
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the benefits
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 of
education
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. Because of that
parents
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, parents
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are
Verb problem
apply
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keep forcing their child to do labour work at
small
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a small
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 age.
Additionally
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, these nations do not have enough schools to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 all the children. Even
they
Correct word choice
though they
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 have to
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
 for long hours to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
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the school. So, poor parents cannot
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
 transportation expenses with the study fees.
However
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, some nations are not well developed to provide a good transport system,
latest
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the latest
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 technologies, etc.
Which
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This
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 demotivates parents, and they do not send their children to
the
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apply
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school for studies.
To conclude
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,
although
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inproper
Correct your spelling
improper
 teaching methods might be a reason for low literacy
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
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apply
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poor countries, I believe
lack
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 of resources is the main issue.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Make a short plan with three parts: intro, two body parts, and a final line.
content
Add real or small clear facts to back up ideas. This helps show your point.
language
Fix spelling and grammar. Simple errors can slow the reading.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to another, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'but also', 'so'.
conclusion
End with a clear view. Restate your view and sum up the main points.
task response
The idea of having two sides and a view is clear.
coherence
There is a basic plan with an intro, two bodies, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Teaching methodology
  • Resources
  • Critical thinking
  • Innovative teaching styles
  • Culturally relevant
  • Infrastructure
  • Basic educational resources
  • Quality teacher training
  • Teacher development
  • Educational outcomes
  • Combined approach
  • Cultural contexts
  • Local materials
  • Short-term gains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: