IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are the causes of it and what solution do you offer?

There is no denying the fact that mental health has become a topic of increasing concern in today's world, particularly when it comes to
stress
Use synonyms
.
This
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 issue reflects an essential truth about how our emotions and decision-making are affected, which requires careful attention and analysis. In the following paragraphs, I will examine the key points and provide relevant examples to support the analysis. On the one hand, we are living in an increasingly busy world, and the rapid pace of technological transformation has major effects on people's lifestyles and habits, causing a growing sense of emptiness and loneliness.
In other words
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, external pressures
such
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 as moving away from their hometowns for urban employment can cause considerable
stress
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 for
individuals
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, which
also
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 comes from a lack of meaningful communication.
On the other hand
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, communication plays a crucial role in reducing
stress
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, and engaging in simple and meaningful conversations can help
individuals
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 feel more connected and less overwhelmed.
Moreover
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, booking an appointment with experts and attending therapy sessions are significant steps towards improving mental health. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 issue has many aspects that need to be considered carefully. By understanding its causes and identifying practical solutions,
individuals
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 can manage
stress
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 more effectively.
Therefore
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, it should be taken seriously for the well-being of both
individuals
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 and society.

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task response
Task response: The essay talks on why stress comes and some fixes, but it does not go deep. Add more clear causes and a short plan. Give two clear examples.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The flow is a bit flat. Use a clear order: cause, effect, fix in each paragraph. Use one idea per paragraph and link with 'first', 'also', 'finally'.
structure
Intro shows topic and a end line shows the end of idea.
content
Some good ideas on causes and fix.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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