IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a view that if individuals had a choice to choose a
life
Use synonyms
 without
work
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 or working all the time, it is highly chance they would choose not to
work
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.
While
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 some
people
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 argue in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
, as most
people
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 prefer an easy
life
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, I strongly oppose
this
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 notion because working is considered a conventional purpose of
life
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. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
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 want to live without working. One of the main reasons is that
people
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 tend to live without any difficulties. It is not
secret
Correct article usage
a secret
show examples
 that working requires many things, including hard
work
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, discipline, fixed schedules and other similar things.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
people
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 do not need to
work
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, they can wake up late, or they can go on holiday at any time they want.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they do not have any responsibilities, which makes their
life
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 easier
as well as
Linking Words
 comfortable. For these reasons,
people
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 choose
life
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 without
work
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. Despite these arguments,
however
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, I believe that individuals would not
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 a
life
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 without
work
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. First of all, many
people
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 think that working is the main purpose of
life
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. Because
people
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 do not
work
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 only for money, but
also
Linking Words
 gain a lot of skills
such
Linking Words
 as teamwork, communication, problem-solving solving and time management skills.
For example
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, when
people
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work
Use synonyms
 in one company, they learn how to solve issues or how to communicate with colleagues, all of these things help to widen their horizon.
Additionally
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,
work
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 helps
people
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 reduce their laziness and find a goal in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, working is the best option. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 I
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 that there are visible purposes to not
work
Use synonyms
, I maintain that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will choose
work
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 since it is a conventional purpose of
life
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.

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Task Response
State your view clearly at the start. Use one clear line to say if you agree or not, then add two main reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple links to show how ideas connect. Use words like and, but, also, then, for example. Start each para with a topic line.
Task Response
Give more real, concrete examples and explain why they prove your point. Do not add many new ideas in the end.
Language (Grammar)
Check grammar and spell to avoid mistakes. Use short, simple sentences and one idea per sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make each paragraph have one big idea in the first line, then support it with two small facts or reasons.
Task Response
You show a clear view against the idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are some good links to show the flow of ideas.
Task Response
Examples are used to show your view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
What to do next:
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