IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that both physical and mental appearance are crucial for long-term journey success.
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While it
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It
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 is a commonly held belief that the presence of physical health is essential in all fields to achieve success. There is
also
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 an argument that mental stability is vital to managing your psychological condition.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 critical topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, body shape is needed to overcome heavy challenges in almost every sport nowadays.
In other words
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, the only practical and effective way to withstand pain
as well as
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 injuries is to build up a fit shape that will effectively assist you in minimising the risks as much as possible.
In addition
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, currently the vast majority of participants in sports events undergo through long procedure before engaging in the competition.
Due to
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 strict policies from
authorities
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the authorities
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.
For example
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, in 1993, the US hosted the Olympics , which is the biggest tournament that gathers all athletes from plenty of sports , and physical strength was a prerequisite to participate in the event.
On the other hand
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, mental power plays a significant role in consistency. It is
also
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 possible to say that obtaining and gaining a strong and reliable mentality is a clear sign of maturity.
Consequently
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, it eventually leads to spectacular outcomes.
Moreover
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, ignoring the importance of mental strength will most likely end up with early career retirement.
For instance
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, the famous football player Maradona was considered a legend in the football industry;
nevertheless
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, he was accused of using drugs and prohibited
liquids
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substances
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. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that balancing between mental and physical strengths is vital to thrive in the sports field.

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structure
Plan your piece with a clear map: intro, two body para, and a short end.
accuracy
Check facts before you use them; fix dates or events you mention.
language
Use simple, short words and short sentences to keep ideas clear.
development
For each idea, give one clear example to show it works in sport.
conclusion
End with a strong view that matches what you wrote in the essay.
purpose
The essay tries to show both sides of the question.
presentation
The writer makes an effort to discuss the topic and give a view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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