IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people beleive that excessive use of modren technologies, such as computers and smartphones, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that modern technologies are beneficial for
humen
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human
being
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beings
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 if it used properly.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that current technologies are harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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 younger generations. There is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 view. In my opinion, I consider that excessive use of these tools
are
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is
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 dangerous ;
Therfore
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therefore
,
i
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I
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 agree with the statement.
To begin
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 with, the high usage of modern technologies will significantly impact
the
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apply
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real human interaction compared with original books and traditional teaching
ways
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methods
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.
In other words
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, the time
allocating
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allocated
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 for studying new skills and techniques
throughout
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through
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 online sources will dramatically increase the
wasting
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waste
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 of time and budget.
In addition
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, it
is
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apply
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was proven by various well-known
scholers
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scholars
 that excessive
utilizing
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use
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 of anything
including
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, including
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 modern
platforms
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platforms,
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 will eventually lead to addiction and lack of concentration, which badly
damage
Correct subject-verb agreement
damages
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 our brain.
For example
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, the most used application globally is
ChatGPt
Use the right word
ChatGPT
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which
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, which
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 is an AI tool that simply answers everything;
consequently
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, it plays a significant role towards
shortage
Correct article usage
the shortage
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in
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of
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 creativity and critical thinking as well. Another point to consider , the more time
spending on
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we spend
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 fully
relaying
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relying
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 on these resources, the less we become capable of
research
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developing research
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 skills. Our
brian
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brain
show examples
 needs
endless
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an endless
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 amount of effort and practice to be able to
recognize
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recognise
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 and
fulfill
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process
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 any new information .
Moreover
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, counting on traditional methods will assist the students to increase their self-esteem
as well as
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 self-confidence
and
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, and
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 both of them are crucial for thriving and
successs
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success
.
For instance
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, in Japan, the government set
a
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apply
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new rules to
minimize
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minimise
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 counting on electrical devices.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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calculators , smart watches , and laptops inside
classroms
Correct your spelling
classrooms
. In conclusion, despite people having
deffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 views, I firmly believe that balancing is the most practical solution to tackle
this
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 challenge professionally.

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planning
Plan your essay. Start with a clear view on the issue, then add two or three reasons.
coherence
Make one idea per paragraph. Use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Work on grammar and spelling. Use short and simple sentences. Check 'technology' vs 'technologies' for correct sense.
examples
Use examples well. Explain how the example supports your view. Be careful with facts.
lexical
Choose simple, exact words. Do not use too many long phrases. Be precise.
editing
Check your writing for mistakes. Fix errors like 'ChatGPt', 'classroms', 'deffirent'.
content
The essay shows a clear position on the topic.
content
An attempt to use examples like ChatGPT and Japan rules.
coherence
Some linking words and a basic plan are used.
structure
The structure has intro, body, and conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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