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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart illustrates the percentage of
visitors
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 to five different nations
:
Punctuation problem
:
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 the United States of America, France, Malaysia, Brazil, and Egypt. Over 15 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the USA's and
France's tourists
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France
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 increased significantly over the entire period.
Also
Linking Words
 had the highest figures of
visitors
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.
While
Linking Words
 the three other countries
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 Brazil, Malaysia, and Egypt, witnessed a gradual rise in their population,
due to
Linking Words
 tourism, from 1995 and 2010. In 1995, the USA broke the record of
visitors
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, with almost 70M tourists. And in 2010, they experienced a sharp rise in its people who came to visit, with around 80 million. In France, they began with a small
number
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 of
visitors
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, with nearly 30M. And in 2010, the
number
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 tripled to reach approximately 90M, to equate with American
visitors
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 in 2010. Malaysia started with a minor
number
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 of tourists in 1995, but in 2010, it showed a great growth in
visitors
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, with around 20M and 40M, respectively. Unfortunately, in 1995 and 2010, Brazil and Egypt weren't common among nations, so they had the lowest figures of humans who travelled to their country, and had the exact
number
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 of
visitors
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 over the 15 years, relatively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, m, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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