IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the figures for imprisonment in five countries between 1930 and 1980.

The column chart below illustrates the number for imprisonment including five countries
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 Great
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Britian
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Britain
, Australia, New
Zealand
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 ,
United
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the United
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States
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 and
Canada
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from
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, from
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 1930 to 1980.
Overall
Linking Words
. The United
States
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 and
Canada
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 remained the highest prison figures throughout the five decades ,
while
Linking Words
 only Great
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Britian
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Britain
 rose
continuouly
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continuously
.
addtionly
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Additionally
,other
courties
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countries
 experienced
significent
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significant
 fluctuations,and most
courties
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countries
 reached a similar level for
imprisonmen
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imprisonment
 in 1970 ,before the United
States
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 peaked in 1980. In 1930,
Canada
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 had around 120
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thousands
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thousand
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 prisoners,
fellowed
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followed
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 by the United
States
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 and New
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Zealand
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Zealand,
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 gathered in roughly 100
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thousands
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thousand
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.By
contarst
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contrast
,Great
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Britian
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Britain
 began with the lowest figure, at about 30
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thousands
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thousand
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 for imprisonments.Over the two decades,
Canada
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 and the United
States
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 fluctuated stably within the range of 100 to 130,
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
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decrease
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decreased
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 sharply to 50
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thousands
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thousand
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.Meanwhile,Great
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Britian
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Britain
 increased gradually over 50
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thousands
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thousand
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 by 1950. From 1950 onwards,the prison population of Great
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Britian
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Britain
, Australia,and New
Zealand
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 climbed consistently to 80
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thousands
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thousand
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 in 1970,
reacheing
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reaching
 the same level.Over the
last
Linking Words
 decade,the US rose
tho
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to
 the peak
within
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among
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 five countries of the whole period,at 140
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thousands
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thousand
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,
while
Linking Words
 Australia dropped to roughly 50
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thousands
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thousand
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words britian, zealand, states, canada, thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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