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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The allocation of government funding between vocational training and
university
Use synonyms
education
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 is a topic of ongoing debate.
While
Linking Words
 practical skills training offers tangible benefits to individuals and the economy, I believe
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 plays a critical role in societal advancement.
Therefore
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, both sectors deserve balanced investment. On the one hand, vocational training provides essential skills that meet the immediate demands of the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market. Many industries,
such
Linking Words
 as construction, culinary arts, and electrical engineering, rely on workers who possess hands-on expertise rather than academic qualifications. By allocating more funding to vocational programs,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 can equip young people with practical abilities, ensuring a steady supply of skilled workers.
This
Linking Words
 approach
also
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 reduces unemployment, as it enables individuals to secure jobs more easily in sectors where demand remains high.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
university
Use synonyms
education
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 is indispensable for fostering innovation and addressing complex societal challenges. Advanced fields
such
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 as medicine, technology, and engineering require a deep theoretical foundation and rigorous academic training. Universities not only produce qualified professionals but
also
Linking Words
 drive research and development, which are crucial for long-term national growth.
For instance
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, breakthroughs in healthcare or renewable energy often originate from
university
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-led initiatives, highlighting the importance of continued investment in higher
education
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 vocational training addresses practical workforce needs,
university
Use synonyms
education
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 contributes to innovation and knowledge creation.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should aim to balance their funding strategies to support both sectors effectively, as each plays a vital role in the development of a thriving society.

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coherence
Work on making ideas flow more, so the turn from one idea to the next is smoother and the link to the task is clearer.
grammar
Use a wider mix of sentence types. This helps show better control of grammar.
editing
Check for small spelling and form mistakes, like 'governments'.
task response
Clear view that both sides have value in the plan.
coherence
Good use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show balance.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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