IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The topic
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 budget should focus on vocational and practical training, rather than on
education
Use synonyms
 at
universities
Use synonyms
. In my personal viewpoint, I still believe that university
education
Use synonyms
 should be considered important in
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 budget portion
due to
Linking Words
 the impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth. On the one hand, vocational training is a vital part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life and the economy throughout the development of human.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 life
become
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 so convenient
due to
Linking Words
 the existence of culinary artists, electrical engineers, and house builders. Those roles are often
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
forgotten, especially in the age of social media, but can not be excluded in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the time to train
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
 workforce with those practical skills is faster and more affordable compared to those with
deep
Correct article usage
a deep
show examples
 academic background,
thus
Linking Words
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 more human resources to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 gaps in
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
 market. To those who choose
vocational
Correct article usage
a vocational
show examples
 career path, they can equip themselves with a
hand-on
Use the right word
hands-on
show examples
 experience and gain income soon.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 at
universities
Use synonyms
 should not be
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
 by practical training regarding the investment, because most of the jobs
having
Wrong verb form
that have
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on the economic and life advancement are educated at
universities
Use synonyms
. Daily activities have
been undergoing
Wrong verb form
undergone
show examples
big
Correct word choice
significant
show examples
 progress
due to
Linking Words
 the
apprearance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 of digital technology, pharma
experiment
Replace the word
experimentation
show examples
 and construction investigation. These careers are
well educated
Use the right word
well-educated
show examples
 in
universities
Use synonyms
 with the support and instruction of
expertised
Correct your spelling
expert
 lecturers. Plus, the labour resources that are deeply educated with majors at
universities
Use synonyms
 open a new heritage to
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
both
Punctuation problem
, both
show examples
 economy and culture, enhancing global citizenship and exposure to the latest innovations. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 vocational training can not be excluded from
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 budget, I personally think that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 needs to spend more on university
education
Use synonyms
 because of its huge
influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
show examples
.

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strategy
State your view clearly in the first sentence.
structure
Use one main idea per paragraph and start with a short topic sentence.
development
Explain each idea with a simple example and link it to your view.
language
Watch grammar and word use, and fix common errors.
conclusion
End with a strong restatement of your view.
content
The writer shows a clear position.
structure
Two sides are shown and linked.
content
The essay uses some real examples in its points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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