IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that going to a fitness centre regularly is unnecessary. Instead, they believe that combining occasional exercise (such as going for walks) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It is often argued that combining occasional daily
excercies
Correct your spelling
exercises
such
Linking Words
 as
quick
Correct article usage
a quick
show examples
 walk with
qualified
Correct article usage
a qualified
show examples
 diet is enough to stay healthy,
instead
Linking Words
 og foing to fitness
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as gyms, combat sport classes,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc is
unnecesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
.
While
Linking Words
 some people may disagree, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because most of the healthiness of
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 body comes from
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
Use synonyms
 and routine
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 no achievements could be possible
achieved
Verb problem
apply
show examples
without it. The
min
Use the right word
main
show examples
 reason why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree is
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 no one could ever achieve a good lifestyle,
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 mind and
fit
Correct article usage
a fit
show examples
 body without the right
food
Use synonyms
 and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 diet. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen from the professional athletes
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
 are hiring special
chiefs
Use the right word
chefs
show examples
 and eat only by their program to stay fit and healthy. Another reason why I support
this
Linking Words
 point of view is
because
Change preposition
that
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 no muscle growth and gains can be attained without correct sustenance.
In other words
Linking Words
, if an individual is not eating clean, natural
food
Use synonyms
 and chooses junk
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
donuts
Change the spelling
doughnuts
show examples
, chips and other eats from
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 category, he/she will never gain anything positive from it for their health. In conclusion, I strongly agree that even the simplest walks or morning runs around the area may be more beneficial with the right choice of what a person eats.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people should focus on their diet more than the way of
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercising
.

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structure
Say your view clearly in the intro and tell it again in the conclusion.
content
Give one or two clear reasons for your view and add a simple example for each main point.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like 'first', 'also', 'for example' to make the flow clear.
editing
Check spelling and grammar. Correct easy mistakes like 'excercies' to 'exercises' or 'centres' to 'centers'.
vocabulary
Use simple and common words. 'diet' and 'healthy food' are good; avoid hard words.
structure
The writer states a clear view and gives a plan for rest of essay.
content
The essay uses reasons and a real life example to support the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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