IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that going to a fitness centre regularly is unnecessary. Instead, they believe that combining occasional exercise (such as going for walks) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowadays, youths are more inclined towards
health
Use synonyms
 consciousness because of the fitness influencer
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and role models that are endorsed through social media. A group of individuals believe that people can maintain good
physic
Replace the word
physical
show examples
by
Check wording
health by
show examples
 focusing on
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 light cardio,
such
Linking Words
 as walking,
instead
Linking Words
 of lifting
weight
Fix the agreement mistake
weights
show examples
 regularly.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I totally agree with
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 viewpoints,
due to
Linking Words
 the effectiveness of
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 on the
body
Use synonyms
, and saves
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 for extracurricular activities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, my position will be elaborated with reason and examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the foremost point to justify my view is that our
body
Use synonyms
responsed
Correct your spelling
responds
 to the food
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we consume.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the muscles and
body
Use synonyms
 fibres are
build
Replace the word
built
show examples
 based on the
diet
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it is very crucial to have a healthy
food
Check wording
diet
show examples
,
instead
Linking Words
 of doing physical
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 daily and neglecting to add
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 needs proper nutrition
inorder
Use the right word
in order
show examples
 to repair and build new layers of muscle fibres after a rigorous
workout
Use synonyms
 session.
For example
Linking Words
, lifting regularly can make
body
Use synonyms
faitgue
Correct your spelling
fatigue
 which leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation and energy to do the work if the
body
Use synonyms
 is not
nutured
Correct your spelling
nourished
 with
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is important that people should focus more on
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 followed
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 some cardio, and reduce the
intersity
Correct your spelling
intensity
 of the
workout
Use synonyms
 so that the
body
Use synonyms
 can heal and repair quickly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, People are struggling to meet
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 of their household
Punctuation problem
, beccause
show examples
beccause
Correct your spelling
because
 of
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 they spend most of their time at work. On top of it, going to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 regularly can be cumbersome, and can consume a lot of energy.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 time can be used for doing extra-curricular activities
such
Linking Words
 as learning new skills or exploring new hobbies, which can be an
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
 for
this
Linking Words
 competitive world.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 needs rest to recover
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 excessive
Use synonyms
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
 can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to serious
health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as cardiovascular disease or
bulima
Correct your spelling
bulimia
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals should take care of their
health
Use synonyms
 by indulging in
light
Correct article usage
a light
show examples
10 min
Correct your spelling
10-minute
workout
Use synonyms
 session where they can feel
energeric throught out
Correct your spelling
energetic throughout
 the day.
To conclude
Linking Words
, maintaining fitness can be controversial. The claim against it is conspicuous because
regularly
Replace the word
regular
show examples
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 helps to reduce
body
Use synonyms
 fat
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps them to live a healthy and long life.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I stand firm by my opinion, as moderate
walk
Replace the word
walking
show examples
 and proper
diet
Use synonyms
 can have a huge impact on
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of
human
Correct article usage
a human
show examples
 being.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your essay before you write. Say what you think in the intro, give two clear reasons in the body, and restate your view in the end.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a simple sentence that tells the idea and end with a short wrap up. Use link words like and, but, also, for example, therefore to join ideas.
language
Check your spelling and grammar. Use simple, common words. Watch for words that are easy to misspell or mix up.
content
You show a clear view from the start and keep to the idea.
content
You use some real life ideas like diet and rest to back your view.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: