IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people argue that parents of children who break the law should be punished in some way, because they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals think that the
parents
Use synonyms
 of lawbreakers
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to be sentenced
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 way ,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 they carry the responsibility for
Correct article usage
the axtions
show examples
axtions
Correct your spelling
actions
 of their
offspring's
Check wording
offspring
show examples
. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea .
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree that
parents
Use synonyms
 have an influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 behaviour,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think the
last
Linking Words
 word about future decisions
rely
Verb problem
lies
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 children .
Parents
Use synonyms
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the most significant
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 in
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
 development ; every action or decision can result in their psychology .
Parents
Use synonyms
 have to avoid any rude actions like shouting .
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
if
parents
Use synonyms
 don't
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attention to it , the baby becomes traumatised. Spoiled with
violance
Correct your spelling
violence
 and harsh treatment kid can have a tendency to
illustrate
Verb problem
exhibit
show examples
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
 and take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part in crime .
For example
Linking Words
 , the serial killer from Miami , who took
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of 30 people , after getting caught by
police
Punctuation problem
police,
show examples
 told
thah
Correct your spelling
that
 he commenced it after seeing how
father
Correct pronoun usage
his father
show examples
 murdered his mother .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , adolescents grow up , become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent
personwith
Check wording
people with their
show examples
 own ideas ,
choises
Correct your spelling
choices
, and responsibilities ; dumping every responsibility
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
mothers
Correct pronoun usage
their mothers
show examples
 and fathers would be wrong .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , sometimes teenagers
acquire
Verb problem
resort to
show examples
 stealing or other crimes after facing a barrier in their life .
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
according to
Linking Words
 the report by
Washington
Correct article usage
the Washington
show examples
 police department ,they revealed that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the citizens who committed
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 and
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
 under 18 did it because of small issues which they never had. In conclusion

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content
Tell your view clearly at start and keep it the same in the essay.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro, 2 body parts, and a short end.
structure
Stick to one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
content
Use real and simple examples that fit well with your point.
grammar
Fix big mistakes in grammar and make your sentences clear.
task
You try to talk about both sides of the issue.
coherence
You use 'On the other hand' to show other ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • parents
  • children
  • law
  • crime
  • blame
  • responsibility
  • home
  • school
  • guidance
  • influence
  • discipline
  • rule
  • fair
  • punish
  • punishment
  • support
  • help
  • prevent
  • system
  • community
  • age
  • act
  • choice
  • example
What to do next:
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