The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that in the present era, the obtainability of entertainment

such

Linking Words

as video games on devices of a handheld is more dangerous to people and to the community they live in.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve into a phenomenon by supporting relevant examples and insights. First of all, I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

In addition

Linking Words

, l consider that electronic is bad for the number of community. In more demonstration, it can affect their thinking; it will

also

Linking Words

affect their behaviour, not only but

also

Linking Words

affect their eyes.

For instance

Linking Words

, my sister spent a lot of time in front of

this

Linking Words

tool; now she suffers from visual deficiency.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a study published at the University of Sohar in 2013 concluded that 90% of individuals who use

this

Linking Words

instrument suffer from autism.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, these devices have

also

Linking Words

advantages if

this

Linking Words

person uses them in the best way

such

Linking Words

as, it can help them to improve their thinking.

For example

Linking Words

, some of

this

Linking Words

game requires thinking if you can win in it. In another example, my son used

this

Linking Words

electronic to help her mind to be active.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these games have good and bad aspects that depend on the public and how they are used. In conclusion, parents and society in general should observe their children if they have any electronic devices.

In addition

Linking Words

, they must advise them on how they will use it in a good way. The outcomes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon are not limited to parents and the community only, but

also

Linking Words

to governments and schools.

lailakhalil3Tue Feb 18 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to clarify your main argument at the start of the essay to strengthen your introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly, enhancing the flow of your essay.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by acknowledging both the negative and positive aspects of handheld devices.

task achievement

Your examples, including personal experiences and research, are relevant and add depth to your argument.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that, due to the advancement of technology people have become closer, while others argue that new technology is the reason to separate people more. This essay agrees with the argument that “new technology makes people closer” and discusses it further.
5.5
band
It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, a lot of happennings around the world and we need to give an attention about International events like frequent earthquake and storms from different countries and unexpected happenings like war in between countries.
4.5
band
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Nowadays, despite the any technological advancement made in the sphere of agriculture,some people still suffer from starvation worldwide. This essay will discuss that there are still military issues in some countries which interrupt farmland improvement and more developed countries can provide less developed countries with some food banks to battle this issue.
7.5
band
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The enormous sales generated from famous consumer products are attributed to the success of advertisement rather than the actual demands of the market. This essay completely agrees with this statement due to the effectiveness of using brand ambassadors to leverage sales and providing discounts to increase the number of sold goods.
6.5
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think is a positive or negative development?
In many countries, you can find easy products from another country in a supermarket, I believe this because it makes many people try new experiences and new habits from other countries. It should be seen as a positive development because the popularity of food products can increase export salaries.

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think is a positive or negative development?