Many governments in the world spend a large amount of money on arts which develop quality in people’s life. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than arts. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

The massive responsibility of making society a better place to live is on the shoulders of high-ranking officials.
While
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some opine the government should solely focus on
art
Use synonyms
-related objects,
instead
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of addressing some other things, in my view, allocating a vast amount of money to
art
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-related lessons cannot be the answer to make the lives of citizens much brighter. On the one hand,
art
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subjects play a crucial role in people’s personal growth. To clarify, many tend to spend a lot of time making some inspiring artworks, since they strongly believe it allows them to release their stress and anxiety in their personal life. The more they concentrate on creating
such
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a thing, the more they can stop themselves from overthinking. In
this
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way, they can turn into a better version of themselves.
On the other hand
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, money goes a long way in providing a better standard of living for citizens.
For example
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, in my country, Iran, many are bombarded with a torrent of vexingly complicated issues in their personal lives,
such
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as inflation, crippling poverty, and even gender discrimination, which can pose a threat to the safety of society.
Hence
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, it is not logical for authorities to dedicate a vast amount of budget to creating facilities in the world of
art
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.
Moreover
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, if individuals are deprived of living in a peaceful atmosphere, they can not meet their basic demands, let alone show their talent in a specific field like
art
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, since it needs a lot of concentration to create a masterpiece in
art
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. In conclusion,
although
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underestimating the importance of
art
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in improving personal growth is not logical, I believe there are many more wide-ranging issues
must
Correct pronoun usage
that must
show examples
be supervised by the government to provide a pleasant environment for city dwellers.

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overview
Explain your view with more strong reasons and clear end that match the task. Use simple examples from life or easy ideas to show your point.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas are tied. For example, 'also', 'but', 'so', 'therefore'.
content
Clear view on the topic with a stance that is easy to see.
coherence
Good use of linking phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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