IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activites at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activites at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph shows information on the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 for several activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 2000 to 2020. There are five different types of
Use synonyms
participants activity
Fix the agreement mistake
participant activities
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
, martial arts, amateur dramatics, table tennis, and musical performances.
Overall
Linking Words
film
Use synonyms
Club
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the highest number of
participants
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year. Martial arts
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 the second rank that
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased dramatically.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the other types
also
Linking Words
 had an increase and
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
Change preposition
in number
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Film
Correct article usage
The film
show examples
club
Use synonyms
 continuously had a first
position
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 60
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 70 people. Martial
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
 had been significantly increased, almost in the same
position
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
Use synonyms
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
club
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 amateur dramatics had been dramatically decreased in 2005, from 30 pupils
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 under 10 people.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the year, other activities
Use synonyms
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between
Correct article usage
the
show examples
film
Use synonyms
club
Use synonyms
 and amateur dramatics,
although
Linking Words
 musical performance had been lowest
position
Use synonyms
 in 2005, but had
a growth
Use the right word
grown
show examples
 increased until 2020, from zero
participants
Use synonyms
 to 20 people.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, film, club, position with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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