IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

The given line graph compares the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who make a visit
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
specific
caribbean
Fix capitalization
Caribbean
show examples
island
Use synonyms
 over 7 years, from 2010 to 2017. It can be clearly seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the
island
Use synonyms
 saw a rise over the given
period
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
visitors
Use synonyms
 who prefer staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 overtook the
tourists
Use synonyms
 staying
Use synonyms
cruise
Change preposition
on cruise
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ships
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 turned
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 experience
at the end
Linking Words
. In 2010, the number of people was 1
million
Use synonyms
 at the starting point
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is the lowest during the whole
period
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 75% of
visitors
Use synonyms
 preferred to stay on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
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,
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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preferrable
Use the right word
preferable
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 for the rest 25% of
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
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 total
visitors
Use synonyms
 rose roughly to 1.2
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 in 2011, the
figues
Correct your spelling
figures
 for
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 remained constant and approximately 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 increase of total
tourists
Use synonyms
 belonged to the
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
. Over the shown
period
Use synonyms
, total
visitors
Use synonyms
 experienced a continuous increase, reaching its peak
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017. In spite of seeing a decline in 2012, the number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 who preferred staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
Use synonyms
prolonged
Verb problem
continued
show examples
 to increase to roughly 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
Although
Linking Words
 staying on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 remained stable over the 3 years as a preferred version at 1.5
million
Use synonyms
, it was overtaken by
cruise
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, island, visitors, period, cruise, ships, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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