IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People living in the 21st century have e better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many
people
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 believe that
people
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 living in the 21st century enjoy a better quality of
life
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 than those who lived in the past. I mostly agree with
this
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 idea,
although
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 there are a few areas where
life
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 today can
also
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 be more stressful.
To begin
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 with, modern technology has made everyday
life
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 much easier. We have access to fast communication, advanced medical treatments, and convenient transportation.
For example
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,
people
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 can talk to friends abroad within seconds or receive medical care that helps them survive serious diseases.
In addition
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, machines and appliances save a lot of time in daily tasks, which allows
people
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 to focus on work, education or hobbies.
However
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,
life
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 in the 21st century is not perfect. Many
people
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 suffer from stress because of fast lifestyles, high job demands and financial pressure. In the past,
life
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 was slower, and
people
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 often had stronger community ties, which gave them emotional support. Today,
although
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 we have more comfort, many individuals feel lonely or overwhelmed by constant competition. In conclusion, I believe that the quality of
life
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 today is generally better thanks to technology, modern medicine and convenience. Still, it is important to recognise that some
people
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 experience more stress and social isolation than in previous times.
Overall
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, the advantages of modern
life
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 are greater, but they come with certain challenges.

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details
Add specific examples to show your points more clearly.
structure
Make some ideas shorter and split long sentences.
grammar
Check small grammar mistakes and use the phrase 'quality of life' correctly.
coherence
Keep a clear line of view in the intro and keep each paragraph tied to it.
task
Clear view of your stance and a mostly balanced idea.
coherence
Good use of 'to begin with', 'however', 'in addition' to show order.
cohesion
Text is easy to read and on topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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