Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than traveling. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

Opinions differ regarding whether students should choose to work or travel after graduation. I believe that both options have their own advantages and drawbacks, depending on individual circumstances. There are some compelling factors that account for why it is beneficial for students who have already chosen their career path to work after leaving school. One pivotal reason is the accumulation of
experience
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. As is often said, advanced skills are a key ingredient to success, which requires time to
specialize
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specialise
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and develop.
Correct word choice
If Were
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Were individuals
Correct word order
individuals were
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to start working a year earlier than their peers, they would acquire more professional
experience
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, which could
also
Linking Words
contribute to earning more money.
For instance
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, I
recognized
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recognised
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my aim to become an accountant when I was in school.
Therefore
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, I decided to join an accounting firm right after graduation, which helped me move closer to my goal by gaining more
experience
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as well as
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earning more money compared to others.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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direct working pattern may not be suitable for those who have not yet found their interests.
Consequently
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, it is imperative for them to spend a year
traveling
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travelling
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around the world or engaging in activities that help them discover their enthusiasm.
Instead
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of being forced to enter an industry they are not interested in, spending a year following their heart would definitely be worthwhile. It is highly likely that they will surpass others once they identify their life goals. In conclusion,
while
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some students argue that working
experience
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is essential in adult life, I firmly support the notion that it is not vital for those who are uncertain, as not everyone progresses at the same pace.

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task response
State a clear, direct view in the opening and keep it in mind in every paragraph.
coherence
Use clear links to join ideas, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'in addition'.
content
Give more strong, real examples that fit the point you make.
style
Keep long sentences short. Break ideas into small parts.
structure
The essay shows a good balance of work and travel ideas with a personal touch.
structure
Clear intro, body and conclusion.
example
A clear example about becoming an accountant is used.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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