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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, students experience high levels of academic stress. What problems does this create, and how can schools and parents help to solve them?

In major countries,
students
Use synonyms
 have undergone increased levels of academic stress.
While
Linking Words
 it may lead to decreased social interaction, the
parents
Use synonyms
 can take an effective role to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. On the one hand, there are a number of problems of academic stress. One of the major problems is social interaction. If
students
Use synonyms
 spend a significant amount of time on their studies
while
Linking Words
 undergoing academic exhaustion, they cannot allocate any time to their friends and family.
For example
Linking Words
, these
students
Use synonyms
 may study 6-8 hours a day, and they will no longer be able to concentrate on their social bonds.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the academic pressure leads to social interactions. To solve
this
Linking Words
 issue, the role of the
parents
Use synonyms
 is critical.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should encourage open communication at home. When children are able to discuss their worries freely, they are more likely to cope with social pressure at school.
For example
Linking Words
, regular family conversations can help
students
Use synonyms
 express their feelings and build confidence. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 academic burnout is the main issue among
students
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 can help their children by promoting open communication

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development
Add more ideas on how schools can help, not only parents.
structure
Make the plan clear: state the problem first, then give a simple answer and how it works.
grammar
Use easy words and fix unclear sentences. Check the line about 'lead to less talking'.
structure
There is a start and end to the essay.
coherence
Some linking words are used, like 'For example'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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