IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

A lot of people nowadays are spending too much money and they do not save anything for future use. What are the reasons for people spend too much? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to enjoy the moments and
spending much
Wrong verb form
spend a lot of
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money
Use synonyms
 even for a simple thing
instead
Linking Words
 of keeping some of them for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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. I firmly believe
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development because it
effects
Use the right word
affects
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negatively
Rephrase
apply
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their
financial
Replace the word
finances negatively
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. Since advertising and social media
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 become significantly popular,
people
Use synonyms
 can easily influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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it.
For instance
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, my sister always buys the latest phone and clothes just because ads and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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influencers use them. Another
an
Correct article usage
apply
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important reason is high taxes and cost of
live
Replace the word
living
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, which make
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on the necessary needs
such
Linking Words
 as food, accommodation, education, and healthcare, in order to have a quality life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, lack of financial
Check wording
resources play
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a key role in
this
Linking Words
 regard. To illustrate, individuals who do not have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enough experience
how
Rephrase
apply
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to manage
Change preposition
in managing
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 their salary wisely will spend a lot of their budget in a short time. I think it is a negative
tend
Use the right word
trend
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 because it leads to financial challenges and it may
affects
Wrong verb form
affect
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 their health.
In other words
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 lose their jobs and
stay
Verb problem
are left
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 without
money
Use synonyms
.
Foe
Use the right word
For
show examples
 example, my sister
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
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 problems with water and phone bills,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to
Correct article usage
a streeful
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streeful
Correct your spelling
stressful
 life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to avoid any problems
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 should save a
few
Fix the agreement mistake
little
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money
Use synonyms
 each month for future use. In conclusion, the disadvantages of spending too much
money
Use synonyms
 clearly outweigh the advantages. It leads to financial problems and affects their health.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important to learn how to manage the budget correctly.

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Task response
Plan your essay before writing. Make a short plan with the main points.
Coherence
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph and keep one idea per paragraph.
Coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, and, but, because.
Grammar
Check for small grammar mistakes and spelling.
Advancing ideas
Add one more clear example for each reason to show your point.
Idea
The writer shows a clear view that spending too much is bad.
Structure
There is a plan with intro, body and conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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