The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries

The line graph demonstrates the amount of
income
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generated in
million
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dollars
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from garment
export
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exports
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in the three chosen countries, from the
year
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1999 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, Colombia and Japan
dispayed
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displayed
a fluctuating trend
with
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apply
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corresponding
each
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to each
show examples
other with
comparitively
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comparatively
more stable
income
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,
whereas
Linking Words
Myanmar
dispayed
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displayed
a more dramatic trend but ultimately
didshowsome
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did show
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recovery by the
year
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2003. Japan,
although
Linking Words
making around 590
million
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dollars
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, the most money
amoungst
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among
the countries,
in
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at
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the
start
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of 1999, did show
slight
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a slight
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decrease by the time the
year
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ended.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Colombia
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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about 470
million
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dollars
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in
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at
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the
start
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of
1999
Punctuation problem
1999,
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displayed a steady upward trend
surpassing
Punctuation problem
, surpassing
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Japan
untill
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until
the
start
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of 2002, where there was a decrease in the
income
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by about 90
million
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dollars
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by the end of the next
year
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Myanmar
having
Punctuation problem
, having
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almost no export whatsoever
in
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at
show examples
the
start
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of
1999
Punctuation problem
1999,
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made
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
800
million
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dollars
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in just one
year
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
the increase in the export did not make a big margin, it did make an extra profit of 150
million
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dollors
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dollars
over the next
year
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
income
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plunged from the
start
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of 2001 and suffered a loss of about
three quarters
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three-quarters
show examples
of the money. It did recover 100
million
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dollors
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dollars
in the
year
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2003. Ultimately catching
upto
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up to
show examples
the other two countries.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, million, dollars, year, start with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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