IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.b

There is no denying the fact that some people believe that advertising is not useful anymore for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
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 said that it is
soo
Use the right word
so
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 beneficial.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that it is
useful
Correct article usage
a useful
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 thing to do, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that people ignore it when they see it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, advertising will give us information about the
product
Use synonyms
 and let us know about it.
In other words
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, without
it
Add a comma
it,
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 we probably will not think about buying the
product
Use synonyms
 because we do not have enough
idea
Check wording
information
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 about it.
In addition
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, if the thing that we want to buy has a lot of benefits, we will buy it.
For example
Linking Words
, humans often prefer to know the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of the
product
Use synonyms
 before buying it.
On the other hand
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, we might think that they are lying to us. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that they just want to sell their products,so they will keep trying to let you get
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Moreover
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, when you see something perfect, you should ask anyone of your relatives if they have ever seen it,
then
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depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on the
answer
Punctuation problem
answer,
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 you can do the right thing.
For instance
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, many people like to ask experts rather than buy it immediately. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that advertising will help us to know what the
product
Use synonyms
 is
and
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, and
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 we may ask for the disadvantage kindly.

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structure
Plan first. Write a short intro, then two body parts for each view, finishing with your clear view.
development
Give clear reasons for each point. Use simple, real examples that fit the idea.
grammar
Check grammar and use easy words. Make short, plain sentences.
cohesion
Use linking words to join ideas (first, also, but, for example).
content
The essay shows both sides and gives a view.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
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