IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is generally believed that talent is something you are born with. some say it might even be genetic. However, there are those who claim that talent is a combination of exposure to a good teacher and practice. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that
talent
Use synonyms
 is acquired by birth or can be hereditary,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others say that individuals' hard work and learning from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good teachers make them talented.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is true that people have natural skills and perform better than others in some fields.
However
Linking Words
, doing hard work with it
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
 results in
advanced level
Use the right word
advanced-level
show examples
 skills. On the one hand,
this
Linking Words
 is often seen that children are very talented from childhood. Regardless of economic backgrounds, some people are able to
stood
Wrong verb form
stand
show examples
 out to showcase their
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
 without exposing themselves to the needed environment. They do not depend upon simple or special
trainings
Fix the agreement mistake
training
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 financial instability
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 still become successful.
For instance
Linking Words
, some are perfect
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 drawing when they start
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school without having
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 training.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
talent
Use synonyms
 can
be faded
Wrong verb form
fade
show examples
 with time if it is not refined with
practice
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working hard makes the person more talented as one can see their
weaknessess
Correct your spelling
weaknesses
 and strong sides
wiht
Correct your spelling
with
practice
Use synonyms
. Some who are born with talents naturally are not able to succeed because they do not update themselves and
practice
Use synonyms
 with growing competition. A
talent
Use synonyms
 is the product of good
practice
Use synonyms
 and exposure to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good learning environment. Good teachers
support
Verb problem
apply
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 direction and guidance.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 consistency in doing hard work helps the person to
be succeeded
Wrong verb form
succeed
show examples
 in their dream careers. In conclusion, a genetic or natural
talent
Use synonyms
 helps individuals to
raise
Use the right word
rise
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
above
show examples
 a crowd with high competition when they might not have enough money. They can show their talents even without
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
they can
show examples
be faded
Wrong verb form
fade
show examples
 in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years. To gain success in future careers, one must be
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
 worker and
have to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
expose themselves to the
sorroundings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps them to grow in the right way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Fix grammar and form. Use simple, clear sentences. For example, 'Talent is partly born, but practice makes it grow'.
structure
Make a clear plan before writing. Intro with your view, two body paragraphs for each view, then your own opinion, and a short conclusion.
examples
Give real and clear examples. Explain how they prove your point.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words. Use 'also', 'but', 'however', 'in addition' to connect.
content
The essay asks about both views and gives a choice.
structure
There are clear links like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
idea
The idea that talent may fade and practice can grow skills is shown.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: