The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying caree, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Work is one of the ways that people prove themselves. It is a fact that working now is a part of our life, and it is a criterion to evaluate or judge somebody. What’s more, I do believe that everything has two sides
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
I would probably like to discuss both views. In the era of high technology, humanity drives deeply into working
day
Use synonyms
by
day
Use synonyms
in order to provide their living standards, pay bills, etc. But what if popularity doesn’t develop every
day
Use synonyms
? What if humans don’t have the sense of innovation? I don’t deny the fact that everybody
doing
Verb problem
is doing
show examples
their
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
just for the
caree
Correct your spelling
career
, still, there are some opinions that say that if the reason for working is just for the money
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
how can the world become a better place? The society has the right to get what they deserve, and by doing well, they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
be paid better so that they can continue to do whatever they want. Some researchers have
given
Verb problem
suggested
show examples
that likely most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees desire to have a fancy treatment for the value that they have been present,
such
Linking Words
as rewards, compliments, or more specific
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
increasing their salaries. It will
impacts
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
these workers’ brains that their projects are being recorded.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
leads to the feeling of pleasant goals, motivation, and a sense of contribution to society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, burying oneself in work too much can lead to depression, overthinking and exhaustion. Overworking often reduces life quality and damages physical and mental health.
Hence
Linking Words
, the more time and grey matter we put in, the more praise and bounty we want to receive back. And if that feeling
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
pervented
Correct your spelling
pervaded
, it will badly damage our emotions, which cause disappointment,
meaningless
Replace the word
meaninglessness
show examples
, denial,…
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
toilers are losing themselves because of running toward these missions, spending almost a
day
Use synonyms
in front of the blue screen can cause stress, burnout, and loss of identity outside the workplace. These issues can be partly understood
as a consequence
Linking Words
of the rising prices in products, services and an unstable economy. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are no absolute rights or wrongs for any aspects, my final conviction is that income and career stability shape life opportunities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
everybody should be
recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
show examples
and prized. What actually matters is that they need to be praised for what they deserve and what they have given.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
The essay shows the topic and a view, but it does not state a clear stance. Start with your view in the opening to guide the reader.
structure
Work on linking ideas. Use clear links between ideas and keep one big point in each paragraph.
content
Try to add more real or clear examples to back each point.
language
Check grammar and word form. Fix small slips like career, not caree, and fix spelling errors.
conclusion
End with a strong, clear view that matches the intro.
idea
The writer tries to see both sides of the topic.
structure
There is a clear start and end to the essay.
cohesion
Some links work and a contrast phrase is used.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: