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Band 6.5

In some country young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

The world has greatly changed, and that includes education. Today , many young people decide not to attend University directly from high school.
Instead
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, they plan to work or travel for a
year
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.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of doing
this
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. On the one hand, there are many advantages in taking a
year
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 off and not going to University.
First,
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a gap
year
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 helps young people gain real-life experience.
For example
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, when
students
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 work, they will learn how to manage money and how to deal with responsibilities.
Second,
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travelling is
also
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 useful because it allows the
students
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 to see new cultures, meet different people and become more confident. Another benefit is choosing the right major. Many teenagers are unsure about what they want to study. By working or travelling, they might discover their interests and make better decisions about their future studies.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks. One of the disadvantages of taking a
year
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 off is that it makes it difficult for some
students
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 to return to academics. They may feel less motivated to start university.
Also
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, they might forget their studying habits. Second, travelling for one
year
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 can often be expensive, and not every family can afford it.
Third,
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it may delay their education.
For example
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, even working for a
year
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 may delay
students
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 from starting their careers, compared to others.
Also
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,
this
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 will serve to delay graduation with their classmates. In conclusion, it is clear to see that a gap
year
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 can be beneficial, offering many advantages.
However
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, it must be noted that it
also
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 presents some disadvantages. It is up to the individual and their maturity.

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task response
In the intro, say your view and what you will talk about.
coherence
Use links to show flow, e.g. also, but, in addition.
content
Give more clear examples for each point, even simple ones.
grammar
Check small mistakes in grammar and spelling to keep good flow.
language
Use short, clear sentences so ideas are easy to follow.
structure
Clear layout with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The essay looks at both sides and ends with a view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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