IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that the best ways to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, howerver, believe there are better alternative ways to reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.(phuong)

Some individuals believe that to reduce
crimes
Use synonyms
 is to give longer prison sentences
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 others believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there are other alternatives. Here, I will discuss both the views and
will
Verb problem
apply
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give my own opinion
to
Change preposition
on
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 it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, half of the population says that
crimes
Use synonyms
 can
decreases
Wrong verb form
decrease
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 by giving longer time of
punishment
Use synonyms
 to the
criminals
Use synonyms
. I do agree with the statement because it will give
criminals
Use synonyms
 a realisation of what wrong they have done
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 whatever
crime
Use synonyms
 they were
performing
Punctuation problem
performing,
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 it was wrong to do so. So, in
future
Add a comma
future,
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 they will not do
this
Linking Words
 thing again to avoid any type of
punishment
Use synonyms
. Let's discuss the statement where
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
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person's
Check wording
person
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 says that there should be other ways to reduce
crimes
Use synonyms
. I trust that
crimes
Use synonyms
 cannot be decreased just by avoiding the
criminals
Use synonyms
.
Punishment
Use synonyms
 has to be given to the person who has
performed
Verb problem
committed
show examples
 the
crime
Use synonyms
. There is no alternative to that.
Crime
Use synonyms
 is
crime
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, whether it is big or small.
Criminals
Use synonyms
 cannot be set free in the world.
To conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 paragraph, I believe that
punishment
Use synonyms
 is
must
Correct article usage
a must
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 for the
criminals
Use synonyms
, there is no other way. If
government
Correct article usage
the government
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will
Verb problem
does
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 not give
prison
Correct article usage
a prison
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 sentence to
Use synonyms
criminals
Punctuation problem
criminals,
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 they will
get
Verb problem
be
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encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
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 and will perform more actions in the future.

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structure
Plan first. Write three clear parts: view 1, view 2, and your own view. Use a topic sentence for each paragraph.
coherence
Make links between ideas. Use words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example' to show flow.
grammar
Use simple and correct grammar. Check verb form and plural. Do not repeat words too much.
content
Show nuance. Mention other ways to cut crime like school, jobs, rehab, not only jail.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides.
structure
The writer shows a clear own view at the end.
style
Some easy sentences help reading.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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