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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, university
students
Use synonyms
 often choose foreign higher education, looking for new experiences and better studying conditions.
Nevertheless
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, studying abroad has certain drawbacks too. Evidently, studying abroad has more pros than cons, so
this
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 essay will elaborate on the topic and justify these views. The two main advantages of studying abroad are getting a new experience and new connections.
Firstly
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,
students
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 in a foreign country get a new experience of living,
such
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 as using public transport, exploring a local culture, and tasting national dishes.
This
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 way,
students
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 get a better acknowledge of living there and become more self-relevant.
Secondly
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,
while
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 studying abroad,
students
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 make new helpful acquaintances.
For instance
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, for many young people who want to build a career in a field
that is
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 well-developed in another country, studying abroad is a good opportunity to meet colleagues.
However
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, studying abroad
also
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 has several disadvantages,
such
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 as a language barrier and
homesickness
Use synonyms
. Sometimes,
students
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 who can speak only English, when going to local places, might feel isolated, because not all local people understand English well.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it’s difficult to communicate and make connections.
Furthermore
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, studying abroad may lead to
homesickness
Use synonyms
 and depression, which makes learning tough.
For example
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, often young people who choose foreign higher education drop out of their studies and come back home, because they cannot bear the
homesickness
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 studying abroad can cause
homesickness
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 and be tough because of the language barrier, getting new experiences and making connections are great reasons for going abroad. I believe that these benefits of foreign higher education outweigh its drawbacks.

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language
Fix wrong or odd words and help the style by using plain, easy words.
content
Add more detail to each idea and give more clear proof or examples.
coherence
Make the links between ideas stronger so the flow is smooth.
structure
Clear view is given and the form of pro/con is clear.
structure
The essay keeps a simple, easy form with an intro, body and conclusion.
coherence
There are basic links like firstly, secondly, however, which help flow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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