IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people say that the internet is the most important invention ever. Do you agree or disagree with this and if not, what do you believe to be more important?

Nowadays, the necessity to connect and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 fast-moving information among the
people
Use synonyms
 can be seen as
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
thing-to-have
Use the right word
thing to have
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 claimed
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 as a brilliant
invention
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, mostly by old generations
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
 in their era, sending a single message needed days, or even weeks. But does that mean
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is the most important
invention
Use synonyms
 ever?
This
Linking Words
 claim, to me personally, is arguable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I tend to oppose the statement. My argument will be stated as follows:
Internet
Use synonyms
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 is life-changing, there is no doubt about that. In
17th
Correct article usage
the 17th
show examples
century
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,
people
Use synonyms
 used to talk in person, or for
long distance
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long-distance
show examples
 relatives, through
mail
Correct article usage
the mail
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 in
18th
Correct article usage
the 18th
show examples
century
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,
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
 was
found
Verb problem
invented
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, it
needed
Verb problem
took
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 about 1
century
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later
Rephrase
apply
show examples
until I had it in my own house. In that time, we never knew what happened
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the opposite side of the earth,
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 real time. We would wait until the news
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
 in newspapers in the next few days. Until
finally
Linking Words
,
technology
Replace the word
a technological
show examples
breaktrough
Correct your spelling
breakthrough
 happened in
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
century
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.
Internet
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.
People
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 could talk and connect within minutes. We know exactly what
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the opposite side of the earth, 12000
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 away from home, just by
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 click on our smartphone.
However
Linking Words
, to me, it was not enough to be crowned as the most important
invention
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 ever. In my opinion, even without
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, we still could talk and communicate, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
needs
Verb problem
takes
show examples
 weeks or months, the information still
arrived
Wrong verb form
arrives
show examples
. It was only a matter of time. What I think
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the most important
invention
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 ever is
electricity
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. Have you ever
imagine
Wrong verb form
imagined
show examples
 living in the dark for decades? Only rely on the moonlight
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or
bonfire
Correct article usage
a bonfire
show examples
 to warm us up in the winter.
Electricity
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 enables us to have
comfort
Correct article usage
the comfort
show examples
 we have now. We have light,
room
Correct article usage
a room
show examples
 heater,
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
 heater,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
internet
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are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because of the existence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 that, it's easy to say that
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is a mindblowing
invention
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 in modern ages, but it was not enough to be claimed as the most significant
invention
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 breakthrough.
According to
Linking Words
 me, I find
electricity
Use synonyms
 is way
more
Use the right word
most
show examples
 important
invention
Use synonyms
 ever made.

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task response
Your view is clear. To reach a higher score, give two or three strong ideas and a simple example for each, and explain how they support your view.
structure
Make a short plan at the start. Say your view in one line, then give 2 or 3 ideas with easy proof.
coherence
Link your ideas with small words like first, next, then, also, but, and. Keep all thoughts in a smooth flow.
stance
You take a clear position against the idea that the Internet is the most important invention.
content
Some simple history and easy examples show you can argue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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